what? 50 what?

My honest mistake! Yet, it's really too funny, and stupid at the same time haha. So this is a story of my clumsy mistake.

This happened before my pregnancy. I've taken folic acid tablets regularly since months before the pregnancy to prepare my body for conception and afterwards, and continues of course during the pregnancy as well. You can look up the indications, side effects and other drug profiles online for more info.

So what happened was I was running out of my folic acid tabs supply, so I texted my friend who worked at the retail pharmacy to buy that for me, since she's already there. Plus she lives nearby not even close to 2 kilometers from my house, I can go to her house when she got back. Got staff's price some more hahaha.

When she arrived home, she said, "I already bought you 50 strips, it's all RM40".

What?! So expensive. 50 tablets already RM40? I almost started to curse that expensive premise. It's only folic acid, gosh, why mark up so much? It's only that tiny little tablet!

Wait, what? 50 strips? Did I just read strips? STRIPS?

My brain started counting on the imaginary calculator, 50 x 10 = 500 tablets!

You mean I just ordered 500 tablets of folic acid and why the heck would I need that much of folic acid? Even during pregnancy, you won't need that much of a supply!

Hahaha phewww. Thank god, it's only folic acid, not some bloody expensive insulin or whatnot. But 500 tablets? *puke*

"Omg Kiena, I think I just typo the order! I meant tablet. Tablet okayy. Not strips. I need 5 strips only!"

"Hahahaha. No wonder. It was weird why would you need that much. I forgot to ask back. Even my boss wondered why I bought 5 boxes of these".

"Hahahaha. Okay, it's okay. I'm coming over to your house in a few minutes. See you!".

But... The bigger problem is, how to tell my husband because I hate hearing lectures from him about my clumsiness. Okay, how to tell... *taps fingers to fingers*

Seeing him tired from work, there's some blood started to rush to my head, I felt cold on my hands already. I looked at Ameerul, he played with his phone, looking so calm. Alright, he shouldn't know what's going on. I've had enough lectures from him about my clumsiness and carelessness, so I think I don't need more at the moment.

So I casually muttered to myself, aware that he listened to me, "Omg, this can't be. I'm so dead". Drama a little bit.

Then he responded, "Why? What happened?"

"Umm, I typo-ed folic acid order. We got extras hundreds of tablets".

He looked calm, "Okay, it's okay. Let's collect them all tonight at Kiena's".

Disbelief. Okay, one problem solved. Another problem, how would I finish all these? Hahahaha.

I really have a lot of them, plus with the additional supply from hospital. So, every other night before sleeping, I shove one into my husband's mouth and starts advertising about how good folic acid is. Sure he buys me, because I said I learned this at school and "I'm your personal pharmacist, baby. Now open your mouth" sure melts him. Hahaha.

Still, I have a lot. Of course I can't just throw them off. So sayang even though it's cheap. Because I know how hard to make such tablets, plus I would feel so disgust to do that. I'm an integrated pharmacist, you know hahahaha!

Thank god, they expire on 2020. I have 2 years to finish them. Should I get pregnant again?

first trimester

Since I'm still waiting for my housemanship, like forever waiting, so I really have plenty of time at home, just reading and researching more about pregnancy, preparing and just focus on this pregnancy, my first pregnancy ever! That I realize there's so many new things that I've actually learned! What to eat, what not to eat, what to do, what can't I do, etc..

Lucky for me,  now I have all time for me and the baby.

Unlucky for me, I have quite bad sickness.

Let me tell you about the continuous headache, days and nights! My head really feels like exploding. Stabbing feels right on my both eyes. The stiff neck. Especially when I try to change my position. The only time I don't suffer from headache is during my sleep time. Moments after I wake up, danggg.. another round of headache begins. Usually my headache will lasts for about 3 to 4 days before it stops temporarily. And continues the day after. Whatt?!

Ask my husband, ask my best friends. How many times I whine in a day, how clingy I am to them. I try with a safe dose of Panadol, but it still won't go away. My husband has been so patient that he will massage me until I throw up. He wipes my vomits. He pats me to vomit more. Sigh.. will you still be doing that for the next pregnancy? Hahaha.

And also I lost my appetite during the first trimester. I didn't really eat anything. I was so nauseous with rice. I would just say no to anything. But I really liked McDonald's so much. Dinner with double cheese burger every nights was okay. Then, instant noodles. Basically I craved for junk food. Sorry baby. Hope you're doing good. But I never missed my vitamins, don't worry!

So currently on my second trimester. And it has been great so far! I'm enjoying more now.

I've got my appetite back. I can eat anything now. Less headache so far. But just throwing up on the floor a few days ago hehe sorry. But I can feel that the bump is bigger now. I feel fat!

preggy qissy

So, when I still owe my blog posts about my weddings, which I think I'm still gonna postpone them too, Because I'm more excited now to write about my pregnancy! Hehe.

Yeaa. I'm 5 months pregnant now. Already 5 months that the baby bump starts to appear. But actually my body weight hasn't increase much, like only 2 kg. So if you look at me now, probably you just gonna see a kid with a bloated stomach (read: kwashiorkor kid) hahaha.

Time flies, surely. It's only yesterday I got my urine positive with pregnancy. And now I can feel the kicks already. 

Sure, we expected this pregnancy, it wasn't a surprise. Because we had stayed together for 5 months after I came back to Malaysia for good. Long distance marriage doesn't count guys! Haha.

 But the moments we saw that double lines, we were just stared at each other. Like, "Is this for real?". Okay, let's wait. Until next week, then we will see the gynae to confirm. I mean, by next week we can already see the baby sac. Means, it's 100% positive that we're pregnant. So we were agreed on that. But the impatient me, of course! I had my UPT checked many times by myself before we actually went to the gynae. All comes out positive. As the day goes by, the double lines became clearer and clearer.

I was really sure that I'm pregnant. Because I'd never miss my period. Even a day. Sometimes my period came faster than the actual due. But to be satisfied, let's see the doctor. Also to confirm that the sac is in the uterus, not in the fallopian tube (ectopic). 

Yaa, because I learned them at school, so everytime I got sick, I started to think about any possible things that may occur haha. That's why I need some people, old-experienced mothers, doctors to assure me that everything that occur is normal for a pregnant mom.Well, first time mom some more hehe.

Actually the sign of me getting pregnant had came early. A month before I was actually pregnant, I missed my period by 4 days. Never in my life since puberty my period came that late. So I thought I was already pregnant but the result came out negative. I already had headache for a week. I already feel discomfort in the body. And etc. But.. that's just an introduction. Hehe. So the next month, I was late for my period for a bout 4 days, and I checked again. This time, it's positive!

My mother in law already expected this. She said, the hormones just wanna play a little bit haha. The whole family was so happy. 

Meanwhile, the culprit behind this pregnancy, my husband, still couldn't believe that he's gonna be a dad! His eyes shone so bright, he grinned from ear to ear, but he still asked me, "Am I going to be a father?". He asked the doctor, "So, she's pregnant?". "Yes, we all see the sac just now right", the doctor replied. Hahaha.

It's a beginning of a new journey for us. I can't wait!

And let's start a new label; Preggy Qissy.

you sure you were loyal?

Just now Ameerul and I had a dinner together. We just talked and talked to each other like usual, by usual I mean I talk the most. He doesn't really talk much whilst eating. While me, of course talking during eating will increase the appetite and make you eat more without you realize. That explained why I choked the other day hahaha then he lectured me.

Anyway. We just talked about random things then he stared at me, "Is this really Qistina that I approached 7 years back? And now you're my wife", emphasizing that how long that we've known each other and he just couldn't believe that we actually did it!

Awwwhh, he always does that. And everytime, I just melt away.

"Yeah, it's me that you chased and followed all the way to my lecture hall". He did. Such a psycho, no? Hahaha how could you secretly followed me and my friends without any of us realized him, just to give me a flower. I still kept the picture of that white rose by the way.

So we just continue talking then I asked, "Are you sure that you WERE really loyal?". I meant before we got married that we had a very (utterly) long-distanced relationship. Like how can you be loyal to me for 6 years, are you sure you didn't and never had anyone else? Right, past is past but of course the curious me wanted to dig all the secrets. Past is never past with me, get it?

Well, I didn't really know. He might be loyal. But of course I had doubt (I always have doubt, well, every woman was born with that character - having doubt hahaha even though sometimes I felt like he's talking the truth, but the FBI me will ask a lot of twisted questions as if he commits such big crime. Bad me.)

"Trust me, you can ask any of my friends. Ask them. I was so loyal that even people would question me the same, how can I be that loyal?"

Then he continued, "Now it sound funny, but you know with this good look of mine, cute face of mine, I had a lot of juniors fancied me. I just pull my macho face and pretended to act cool". He showed me how he did the macho face. *shakes head 180 degree*

Omg, now where would this conversation going? Now he's boasting about having fans? Haha. Whatt theee?

I just sat there, speechless. A part of me wanted to just smash that mouth and be jealous that why wasn't I be that junior?! Haha. But a big part of me just enjoyed the conversation and played along - that made me realize, how fun our teenage years were. So much fun. Of course we all once (or always) pulled the control ayu face and pretended to be polite so the cute guy there would notice you.

But because I didn't wanna lose, I replied "Well, I also had people like me and kirim salam and all, I have a cute face too!" Haha!

Because we both know that we WERE and ARE so loyal to each other that no matter where we went/go, there will be always us that can only occupied our each other's heart. Ok now, that's disgusting hahaha.

That macho face guy gave me this 7 years back during a go green campaign at our campus.

clinical pharmacist

I'm officially a licensed clinical pharmacist. Unlicensed (need to go through 2-year housemanship period in order to be qualified as a pharmacist and get the license to practice pharmacy in Malaysia. Also, passing the pharmacy law exam as well. Sigh.)

Anyhow, that means I'm jobless now hahaha yeahh you know the queue for placement is long, so my turn would probably gonna take longer to arrive. It's okay but I'm so bored now, totally bored that I start to miss hospitals zzz nerd alert haha. 

Leave that for a while.

Because this entry is posted to celebrate my graduation! I'm finally graduated! For those who are close to me, or if you've been following my blog for so long (especially my long-term friends), you know how precious this means for me. 

So surreal. So overwhelmed.

I was so excited to end this. The moment I walked out of the exam hall right after Peadiatrics paper, which was the very final paper, my heart was filled with joy, unbelievable feeling. Relief. Excited. Happy. Nervous. Mixed feeling I could never be able to describe.

Yes waiting for the results was crazy. Never in my life I was this nervous. Because this is like the ultimate indicator ever, either you pass the whole program, or extend some more semester to complete the failed ones. I'd never failed any paper before, so this time half of me was quite sure I would passed as well, but you know anything could happen. What if this? What if that?

I couldn't keep calm. One minute, I'd be "omg I'm graduating lets celebrate", then another minutes, "Wait, did I answered right during drug information paper last time?".

Until they announced the result online, I checked immediately with the almost-exploded heart and sweaty palms. Running my eyes on all grades, pass, pass, therapeutics pass thank god, my heart kept beating so fast, kept checking, pass, oh cardio 80 marks so stingy, pass, yayy all 7 subjects I passed all. Can't believe it, that I am already a clinical pharmacist now. Just. Like. That.

Has it been 5 years already? Really?

Time surely flies. Faster than the bullets.

Yes, I've achieved one of my life goals. Surely I have many more plans in my head. It's okay, go slowly girl. After all, it teaches me that I shouldn't be afraid to do what I love. I'm not competing with others, because at the end what matters the most is me, myself.

Welcome home, clinical pharmacist Qistina.

back for good

Wasn't easy.

You've got to be stable to do this. Physically, mentally, and most importantly emotionally.

I guess getting old makes me more into an emotional freak, I get weak easily. Small things make me think hard. Having to face the big event/issues always make me feels emotional ahead of time.

So funny of me giving the landlord lady a blank stare because I was so gonna leave her and not gonna see her ever again. And another suspects in the neighborhood as well hahaha - sorry for the eye contacts.

Feels like leaving your own nest. I'd already attached to that place. It's so familiar to me that I felt so so comfortable living at my home. Well, although, this was the moment that I'd been waiting for years, now it's the time, but still.... it felt like some magnet had been embedded inside your heart that attracted another pole of magnet in that place.

Nway, I'm home now haha.

Well, as a reparation to go back to Malaysia, let me start with the cleaning. To be honest, I packed quite early - so not me but because I didn't want to be rush at the last minutes and missed my stuffs here and there, so I started by packing my books and notes. I cried here. Because I just couldn't see them as books/notes anymore, but this time as memories. Felt so surreal, like do I really memorize all these?

Oh you the microbiology black sheep subject, can't believe I passed you.

Gosh you organic chemistry, you gave me sweetest memories being Dr Nader's student. He likes me. 

And you oncology, can't believe I got 10 marks for oral exam. Why so stingy.

This drug interactions, *pukes* , not anymore.

You know, things like these.

And the memories with my lecturers kept coming one by one in my head. I'm so gonna miss them all. Especially Dr Hassan who always came out with any verses of Quran in the middle of lecture to relate with the topic of study. Yes, because he's handsome too. And of course Dr Mona my girl crush that I adoreeee.

And after all, that's what I treasure the most; knowledge. I can't take all my books back to Malaysia (oh btw I ordered 3 big boxes to put all my stuffs and delivered them by ship - supposed to arrive next month. I thought 3 boxes were just nice to put all items, but naaah, I had headaches packing), anyway, I selected books/notes to bring back and the rest (the unwanted ones), I left them in a box in my room - didn't throw them away. So sayang but I can't keep all.

Packing clothes wasn't as hard as that because I simple bring back all my clothes hahaha YOU THINK I WOULD LEAVE MY LIVES NEVER GUYS haha. I left/donated some that weren't really my 'lives'. They are arriving in months time - I'm already ready to hear some lectures from Ameerul about this. But I don't care *stubborn*.

Anyhow, it's not that he disapproves, but you know, every time I said "I don't have anything to wear", he would glance at me hinting about those clothes whatsoever but really, none of those clothes fit me for that specific occasion. You get it right? He never understands. But, whatever.

I know I'm gonna miss Egypt soon. Everything used to be so different there, so foreign that it totally didn't feel like a home. I felt like I was in a Maze Runner movie trying my best to survive, everything by myself. But I made it. I made it to the extend that it feels so familiar to me. Feels like I'm already an Egyptian hahaha (the dwarf version).

5 years may seems short, yes it's short to teach me everything about being a foreigner. But I can't list down everything that happened within that precious years, because it can't be expressed by words. IT IS TOO PRECIOUS. The memories I would keep them all in my heart. Those lovely faces there. Those travel trips. Those ups and downs.

Thanks Egypt for making me feels like home, see you again.

Bahariya Oasis, winter break 2016.

Awwhhh. Emotional freak detected here. Need help.

Ramadan & Eid El-Fitr 2017

When we are about to celebrate Eid El-Adha. Haha sorry for the late post. I knowww, I should've tried to find a time, now that I procrastinate like this, I literally have so many things to update.

Right. So I spent the whole Ramadan in Egypt. It wasn't my first time, but it was my last time there. It was still good as it usual did. Ramadan in Egypt was never ever disappointing. Like I used to post before about how merry they would celebrate this holy month. So alive. With decoration and so. I didn't manage to buy the fanoos to bring it back home - cause I was on a tight budget but I bought a carpet and few more Egypt-y stuffs instead. Hahaha can't wait for them to arrive to Malaysia! Since I sent them via sea shipping from Egypt - gonna take months to arrive.

Anyhow, Ramadan goals checked. Even though in the middle of my final exam (yes, gonna make a special post about that weee I can't wait). But still, I managed to juggle both and even more! In term of ibadah and all. I am so gonna miss Ramadan in Egypt guysss, like so much! Not to mention the free ifhar that we, Malaysian students got haha. Definitely one of the sweetest moments abroad.

Then Eid was quite nice. Lonely a little bit. Not my first time away from my family, but my first time as a wife but my husband was working on 1st Syawal. We're both just raya through whatsapp haha but it was okay. 

My friends and I decided to make a match kurung for this raya. We took pictures around Zagazig, and that made me realized how much I was going to miss that foreign land. Sigh. 

Raya as a foreigner is sure different. A lot. 

The foreign feeling and all. But still, that's going to be my sweetest memories. *sheds tears*