goodbye my loves

Something big had happened to me last year. I've lost my best friends (such a dramatic writer, you're not losing them forever). Wani and Kiena are no longer studying in Egypt. They've gotten a place in one of private colleges in Malaysia but still doing pharmacy.

Wani tried to hide the news from me at first while everybody knew it except me. Cause she really didn't want me to cry. Of course, I didn't cry (I hid it so so well and acted silly in front of them all the time) but went to class with huge eye bags lol. Once she told me about that, and she shed some tears, I thought "Oh noo, is it for real?". And when we lepak at her room, I pull out the class schedule that she pasted on the wall, and crumpled it. She didn't give any response but laughed, so I thought, "Oh noooo this might be real".

It was quite long period of me being so emotional and just by thinking about it, my tears run heavily. I liked to tease Wani by singing some goodbye songs, of course the fragile one like her would cry and cry and cry. And my heart cried out soooo loud.

I always asked her, "Are you really going to leave me?"

"And who am I going to be friend with?

"Who would stay and study with me during final exams anymore?"

"Who would bla bla bla"

Of course, she cried. 

But telling me, "Don't worry, Allah sends us here so that we can be friends. We are still going to be pharmacist, but our journeys are different. My fate is there (Malaysia)"

Upon her departure, I cried so so hard, we hugged each other as if we're not going to meet each other anymore and got some Egyptian staring at us, like, what the heck are those Malaysians doing? Hahaha.

I know it was such a good opportunity for Wani and Kiena to go back and doing their degree there. With few problems in Egypt and embassy some more. And Wani and Kiena just made a right choice. I'm happy for them and still, losing them is really really miserable. 

Wani is one of my friends who would stay with you through thin and thick. When I didn't do well in exams, when I had a money problem ( she lend me 500LE just for shopping hahaha ), when Baby J was down, when I was having period cramps, she comforted me all the times. And she's still being someone who I can be silly with. 

I really miss her ordering me around to cook for her. Sharing stories with me. Nagging me for waking up late for Subuh. Didn't allow me to use my own laptop cause she wanted to use it. Haha.

I will be okay here without them and I am. But still, those empty feelings.. It sometimes makes me wanna cry.. 

 Made them a card

Bye bye..

Semester 3 final exams

3 papers down, 4 more to go.

Organic Chemistry 3

Medical Terminology

Pharmacognosy 2

Psychology 

Anatomy

Physiology 

Analytical Chemistry 2

I don't know how to describe the first 3 papers. Different feeling with different environment and exam papers. I don't expect too much but I don't expect low. So, just wait. And some papers do have an oral exam after the written exams and that pretty much contribute some marks and affect your GPA. 

So just pray. Pray and pray and pray.

Keep calm and fight for the next papers.

p/s : Good luck to you too, Mr Engineer. And Mrs Engineer (Shushy).

3.9

3 years and 9 months. 

Equals to 45 months in total, none of them that he would go wishing me an anniversary wish at the first place. 

And then he would say, "Oh god, I thought tomorrow is 31st November, I totally forgot that November only has 30 days."

Great, now what? We would have 32nd December on December?

He would continued, "I promise you, I won't do it again next month, okay?"

"Okay".

 -____________- 

(I smirked)

And he kept making it as excuse that it's normal for a man to forget those important dates and events and whatnots. I was so tolerable that I tried not to handle that with my female hormones, so I decided to use my brain to accept the fact that everybody has flaws. But I cannot tahannnn I would always spill my words and ended up with my 10 minutes lecture.

And he would fearlessly laughed. Such a brave man.

Then  he would bravely said, "Don't forget to blog about me!"

He definitely had no fear at all.

And that pretty much sums up our 45-months-relationship.

Happy 3.9 anniversary to you. :)

We'll see how next month.

24 y/o

22 years ago.. Pardon the cheeky smile. I'd always looked like a naughty little girl who would pull your hair with no guilt.

22 years ago, I was celebrating my birthday with my two brothers. Definitely the stubborn sister would never want to share the knife for cake-cutting with the other siblings. And now, unofficially being 24 years old, there's so much more to achieve rather than fighting over a cake knife. 

I don't really have a new year resolution. What I want to do is, doing my best in whatever that I'm going to do ; whatever, I mean, in my studies, relationship, cooking, or even sleeping. Hahaha yes, the same Qistina as in 2013. 

Being a student in 2014, I'm still in my second year of a degree programme. No pressure, but yes, can't wait to finish it. I mean it.

Being a woman in 2014, (24 is considered as an adult, thank you), I've no pressure in marriage too. My mom's getting married when she was 24. And I've been receiving wedding invitations from my friends almost every week. My best friends are going to tie the knot real soon (again, without having me in Malaysia. Seriously, aren't Dolls feel guilty getting married without having me as a bridesmaid?). 

But frankly, I knew every details of my life has been planned properly. Starting from the moment when my mom popped me out, and school and friends and work and marriage and kids. So, nothing to be scared of. I believe that everything has been arranged nicely, and I just have to play a beautiful role and enjoy the present moment. Just make the best of it, so you won't regret it later.

Sigh. 

I'm so grown up. My hormones work very fast on a new year that I can't believe I just talked about life. It's only 3rd January, man. Haha. 

Final exam Year 2

Starting the final exams in 2 days. 

Last grandmother

Al-Fatihah.

My one and only grandmother, on my dad's side, passed away yesterday ( Thursday, 9.40 am ) in Bachok, Kelantan.

It was 3 am in Egypt, I was sleeping with no access of mobile internet. It was such a shocking news when I wake up. Grandma and I, we're not that close. In fact, my siblings too. But we're her closest grandchildren. She's very old and towards the end of her life, she barely recognized us.

We're not seeing her often, maybe because all of my siblings are off for studying/working and not being able to see her more often. But when we got the chance to see her, we're definitely going to run to her and everybody was trying to get to her first. And we were going to her treat just like a queen. Got her whatever she needed, water, checked. Towel, checked. Pillow, checked. Maybe because she's too old to get that by herself.

But my dad, yes. He's got to see her mom everyday.

Dad was the closest to her. I admired the way dad talked to her mum, the way dad treated her mum, it's soo lovely. I could really felt the love. Grandma, who barely able to hear what people were saying and sometimes she forgot where she put her teeth or her stuffs. Or sometimes when her nails were too long to even hurt her own feet and fingers. It was my dad, who taking care of her.

Dad would never gave up repeating the same questions to her, and answering her questions 4-5 times until she really really got it. When my grandma forgot to perform her Asar prayer, dad reminded her in such a lovely way, grandma wouldn't be ashamed or hurt. When grandma thought she just throw away her important stuffs into the dustbin, it was dad who trying to rummage all the trashes just to get her mom the stuffs back (for actually that important stuffs were in dad's car - both forgot) hahaha

Dad became the first one to notice that her mum's nails had grew so long and cut them. Never in my whole life, dad would raise his voice towards his mum. Towards me, yess laaa hahaha.

So, I thought, O lord, Dad must be really really really sad. Hmm, losing a mom is devastating...

Last picture of me and my grandma at my late grandpa's grave. Eid 2013.

May Allah grants you with Jannah, and we will always remember you.

Al- Fatihah. To my grandma. To our parents. May Allah be with us, always. Insyallah..

Normal

They say, once you are a teacher, you will forever being called 'Teacher'. Once you are a doctor, you are forever being called 'Doctor'. Even after your retirement.

And in my case, once I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic, I will always being treated as a pre-diabetic patient. The word "pre" here always brings a meaning of precautions. People will tell me, "Awwww don't eat that, too high of sugar" or "No more carbonated drink, you are pre-diabetic, remember?"

Got it? This is not fair when I'm no longer a pre-diabetic, correction people, I'm normal now. My blood glucose has fallen into a normal range just like you guys. And I can eat tons of chocolate and gallons of Mirinda now. Hahaha.

What even worst, they will treat me as if I'm an admitted-hospital-insulin-dependant-diabetis mellitus patient with all wires twisting the body, one into nasal, one into blood vein and with concentrated urine in urine bag. Like, "Nooo, don't buy that carbonated drink anymore" when I was just opening the beverage fridge or "Heyy, this is sweet, Qistina cannot eat this".

This is sad.

Poor Qistina is judged unfairly.

My latest blood glucose level. Normal range. Now where's all the carbonated drink at? Haha.

And being diagnosed once as a pre-diabetic, for me, I considered it as a good wake up call. When I'd never bothered about my sugar intake, about my blood glucose level and my health though what I've learned at school everyday was all about health, so, now I make it a habit to have a regular blood glucose checkup. (At least once in 2 or 3 months). And become more alert with my sugar intake now.

My dose of happiness