clinical pharmacist

I'm officially a licensed clinical pharmacist. Unlicensed (need to go through 2-year housemanship period in order to be qualified as a pharmacist and get the license to practice pharmacy in Malaysia. Also, passing the pharmacy law exam as well. Sigh.)

Anyhow, that means I'm jobless now hahaha yeahh you know the queue for placement is long, so my turn would probably gonna take longer to arrive. It's okay but I'm so bored now, totally bored that I start to miss hospitals zzz nerd alert haha. 

Leave that for a while.

Because this entry is posted to celebrate my graduation! I'm finally graduated! For those who are close to me, or if you've been following my blog for so long (especially my long-term friends), you know how precious this means for me. 

So surreal. So overwhelmed.

I was so excited to end this. The moment I walked out of the exam hall right after Peadiatrics paper, which was the very final paper, my heart was filled with joy, unbelievable feeling. Relief. Excited. Happy. Nervous. Mixed feeling I could never be able to describe.

Yes waiting for the results was crazy. Never in my life I was this nervous. Because this is like the ultimate indicator ever, either you pass the whole program, or extend some more semester to complete the failed ones. I'd never failed any paper before, so this time half of me was quite sure I would passed as well, but you know anything could happen. What if this? What if that?

I couldn't keep calm. One minute, I'd be "omg I'm graduating lets celebrate", then another minutes, "Wait, did I answered right during drug information paper last time?".

Until they announced the result online, I checked immediately with the almost-exploded heart and sweaty palms. Running my eyes on all grades, pass, pass, therapeutics pass thank god, my heart kept beating so fast, kept checking, pass, oh cardio 80 marks so stingy, pass, yayy all 7 subjects I passed all. Can't believe it, that I am already a clinical pharmacist now. Just. Like. That.

Has it been 5 years already? Really?

Time surely flies. Faster than the bullets.

Yes, I've achieved one of my life goals. Surely I have many more plans in my head. It's okay, go slowly girl. After all, it teaches me that I shouldn't be afraid to do what I love. I'm not competing with others, because at the end what matters the most is me, myself.

Welcome home, clinical pharmacist Qistina.

back for good

Wasn't easy.

You've got to be stable to do this. Physically, mentally, and most importantly emotionally.

I guess getting old makes me more into an emotional freak, I get weak easily. Small things make me think hard. Having to face the big event/issues always make me feels emotional ahead of time.

So funny of me giving the landlord lady a blank stare because I was so gonna leave her and not gonna see her ever again. And another suspects in the neighborhood as well hahaha - sorry for the eye contacts.

Feels like leaving your own nest. I'd already attached to that place. It's so familiar to me that I felt so so comfortable living at my home. Well, although, this was the moment that I'd been waiting for years, now it's the time, but still.... it felt like some magnet had been embedded inside your heart that attracted another pole of magnet in that place.

Nway, I'm home now haha.

Well, as a reparation to go back to Malaysia, let me start with the cleaning. To be honest, I packed quite early - so not me but because I didn't want to be rush at the last minutes and missed my stuffs here and there, so I started by packing my books and notes. I cried here. Because I just couldn't see them as books/notes anymore, but this time as memories. Felt so surreal, like do I really memorize all these?

Oh you the microbiology black sheep subject, can't believe I passed you.

Gosh you organic chemistry, you gave me sweetest memories being Dr Nader's student. He likes me. 

And you oncology, can't believe I got 10 marks for oral exam. Why so stingy.

This drug interactions, *pukes* , not anymore.

You know, things like these.

And the memories with my lecturers kept coming one by one in my head. I'm so gonna miss them all. Especially Dr Hassan who always came out with any verses of Quran in the middle of lecture to relate with the topic of study. Yes, because he's handsome too. And of course Dr Mona my girl crush that I adoreeee.

And after all, that's what I treasure the most; knowledge. I can't take all my books back to Malaysia (oh btw I ordered 3 big boxes to put all my stuffs and delivered them by ship - supposed to arrive next month. I thought 3 boxes were just nice to put all items, but naaah, I had headaches packing), anyway, I selected books/notes to bring back and the rest (the unwanted ones), I left them in a box in my room - didn't throw them away. So sayang but I can't keep all.

Packing clothes wasn't as hard as that because I simple bring back all my clothes hahaha YOU THINK I WOULD LEAVE MY LIVES NEVER GUYS haha. I left/donated some that weren't really my 'lives'. They are arriving in months time - I'm already ready to hear some lectures from Ameerul about this. But I don't care *stubborn*.

Anyhow, it's not that he disapproves, but you know, every time I said "I don't have anything to wear", he would glance at me hinting about those clothes whatsoever but really, none of those clothes fit me for that specific occasion. You get it right? He never understands. But, whatever.

I know I'm gonna miss Egypt soon. Everything used to be so different there, so foreign that it totally didn't feel like a home. I felt like I was in a Maze Runner movie trying my best to survive, everything by myself. But I made it. I made it to the extend that it feels so familiar to me. Feels like I'm already an Egyptian hahaha (the dwarf version).

5 years may seems short, yes it's short to teach me everything about being a foreigner. But I can't list down everything that happened within that precious years, because it can't be expressed by words. IT IS TOO PRECIOUS. The memories I would keep them all in my heart. Those lovely faces there. Those travel trips. Those ups and downs.

Thanks Egypt for making me feels like home, see you again.

Bahariya Oasis, winter break 2016.

Awwhhh. Emotional freak detected here. Need help.