darah manis

How sweet is my blood right now?

Malay people regards anyone who will get married as darah manis. I've been receiving this a lot lately especially a month before my wedding. And they say, the darah manis people are so fragile; they tend to get sick easily, they will get hurt physically easily, cannot meet the partner too often (I skip this one) and they need to be extra extra extra careful of what they do.

Not sure if Malay people are overthinking hahaha or is it something that we just need to be careful of.

My aunts won't let me do any heavy chores, they worry if I scratch myself. Mak was so worried letting me go on board the plane the other day, she kept saying I was darah manis. Ameerul's mom too said, "Take care, darah manis now".

 Now I feel like I own a new position in society hahaha.

Shushy is cooler about this, she too keeps saying I need to take care of myself but she's pretty cool handling anything that happened to me. I got sick the other day and all that she said was, "It's normal for darah manis people to be sick. You just relax and take Fisherman's Friends".

-____-

Meanwhile my parents are just so cool. They don't have any problem letting me go anywhere. Cause I live with my parents right now, and the only thing that they've concerned so much is my eating pattern. They just want me to eat well so I won't get sick. That's all. (All parents are like that).

Ameerul on the other hand is so gelabah. Hahaha. He keeps worrying about me. I can't move! When I was out, he's just so worried and said, "Take care darah manis". When I coughed, he said, "When will you be fine? We just have 2 weeks to go. Take care darah manis". When I ate, "Eat a lot darah manis".

Zzzz hahaha.Chill okay? You don't have to include darah manis in every sentences!

And speaking about him, he's still sick. And he doesn't like medicine. While I am here already finished my second strips of Panadol because of my I-don't-know-where's-coming-from headache. Sigh. I am too dependent on Panadol everytime I get headache. Ameerul's so worried about my kidney, he said, "You know exactly the side effects of Panadol, right? Remember you are darah manis now". Hahaha now he's all over that again!

braces update

When I told my dentist that I’m getting married this summer break, he paused for a few minutes, pouting his lips, his hand on chin while staring deeply into his clinic wall, he continued “I don’t think we can get your teeth done before that”.

I know it! “Told ya already but you still procrastinating!” – I said in my heart.

Okay, keep calm Qissy. You are just a patient, not a dentist! Hahaha.

Anyway, it wasn’t a surprise. I’ve expected it to be like this and I’m ready to just carry these metals along with me on the pelamin.

All that he did was fixing my braces tightly, because I will be away from him for 2 months. And of course, the colour of my rubber!

That was tough. But thank god Dr Ahmed wasn’t like any other typical man who would just simply give up with the women being all fussy about the colours.

When he put the wire over my teeth, I noticed he tried to take a pink rubber to seal the wire. I was freak out! Cause it wasn’t a normal pink guys, it was a bright pink. Very bright. I hate to admit, my teeth are slightly yellowish now since I’m wearing braces for almost a year already. So, naah. Bright pink rubber and off white teeth = contraindicated!

When he tried to put the pink rubber, I was kinda afraid to say no. I wasn’t that friendly with Dr Ahmed. He’s my new orthodontist by the way. My former one was Dr Mahmoud – wonder where he went. But this is my future, I said in my heart. This pink colour will stay forever in my wedding pictures.

I tried to be brave, with my mouth wide open since I still had a long wire lining on my upper teeth waiting to be sealed with that rubbers, I raised my hand and waved it, “La’a”. It means no in Arabic.

He looked confused. I added, “I don’t want pink. Can I have a dark colour?”

Now he understand. He replied, “Uh oh. You want this?”, showing me bright blue.

“No”, I replied. Oh my god, I didn’t want to be so fussy. But I said, “Maybe maroon?”

“Hahahaha”, he laughed. Oh god, thank god he laughed. It meant we weren’t really in a tense. He’s friendly anyway, he’s not like what I thought about him. Now I liked him, my new orthodontist. How could I ever think of him as a no-fun dentist? Bad me! And now I could be fussy, perhaps? Hahaha.

Then he said, “Alright. I will put all different colours on you and then you can choose”.

See? Isn’t his wife so lucky? Must be so cool having him as a shopping companion. Oh by the way, my old dentist also was so cool too. Dr Mahmoud gave me a box of full of different colour of rubbers for me to choose while he fixed my teeth. Yes on that bloody chair. So u can imagine me lying down on the dental chair, opening my mouth while holding the box up in the air thinking what colour to choose. Lol. Totally understand how to deal with female patients.

So anyway, Dr Ahmed put a black rubber, next to that bright pink and then an orange rubber.  He added, "You don't like pink? I think this pink's nice". Nayy, bad taste you Doctor. Just stay cool there and don't try to choose that pink again - you're gonna lose your coolness. Then he asked his assistant to bring me a mirror for me to see my teeth on that.

Hmmm. So hard, I know. This couldn’t be done in minutes. The image of my wedding dress appeared. Then the pelamin. Oh god. Give me the whole day please? Hahaha #overacting

Alright. “I want this”, showing the emerald green rubbers in the box.

“Hahahaha. This?”. God! He laughed again. Now we’re friends! Hahaha. “Okay”.

So yes, emerald green for my 2-months braces rubber. I like it, it isn’t that obvious but it won’t get stained easily. Plus I couldn’t find any dental clinic here that can fix my braces. So, let’s just play it safe.

Teeth update: My teeth moved. Slightly. Only.

Sigh.

Feverish and flu

A week after I touch down to Malaysia, I feel uneasy. My body aches here and there. My nose is running heavily (yuck). Don’t mention my throat, ahhh so painful. Everything seems so hard to be swallowed. I feel like there’s a huge stone that blocks my throat from everything. Oh yes, don’t forget my best friends, ulcers who suddenly grow everywhere.

My body temperature rises a little bit. I don’t really have the appetite to eat now. Cause the more you eat, the more painful you get. My ulcers really take a long time to heal.

Ulcers are normal for me. But having a fever, hmm… Not really. I don’t usually have flu, fever or cough. That’s why I don’t keep any cold medications. But Panadol is compulsory.

Ameerul is feverish as well now. When I call him, he sounds so ill. I can tell that his nose is so full with snot hahaha. Euww. But that’s how I am too.

He sent me off to the airport the other day on my way back to Kelantan then he said, “We both are really meant for each other right? When I sick, you also sick”.

Hahaha. Oh my god, what kind of a pick u line is this early in the morning?

And Shushy on the other note is so bored now, she keeps texting me everyday telling me to get well again. Cause she’s afraid I may look ugly on my wedding day if I keep being sick like this. She tried to calm me down that it’s normal for the people who wants to get married to be feverish. Really? Is she crazy or is it a true fact? She keeps complaining too that I am so so skinny. I’m struggling now to gain some weight. And it’s really hard!

But it’s really true! I look so ugly now, cause I’m sick. My face is so pale. My lips are dry. I look haggard. Shouldn’t I be glowing right now? Hahaha.

I remember when I needed to catch an early morning flight the other day, I really look bad. I asked Ameerul to get me a face mask. Cause I really felt ugly. I kept sneezing every other minute too! And to make it worst, I needed to sit next to a pregnant lady in the plane. Awhh, I felt so bad she kept clutching her tummy, as if protecting her baby from my germs hahaha. I slept with my shades on, with a tissue on my hand, with a Strepsils in my mouth.

I take Chlorampheniramine (antihistamine – you can get it OTC) for now, which is quite drowsy. I choose the drowsy med, so I can sleep. And now I’m just the ugly-sleepyhead-sick lady.

When will this ends?

*cough* *wipes snots*

squat challenge

I need to get in shape, I think. I'm too skinny, everybody knows that. It's not that I don't have a body shape, it's just not shaped enough. The only thing that contribute to my body shape is the bloody estrogen which giving me my feminine characters haha thank god. Apart from that, nayyy. I'm no exercise junkie. I'm never gonna be your gym buddy. And the only exercise I do is walking 15 minutes to school.

(I'm so gonna be one sick grandma at this rate)

But I used to make a stretching every morning after I woke up. Because I wanted to make my muscle flexible. I wanted to spread my legs like the gymnastics people did. Hahaha. Wani, my friend witnessed this everyday and shook head seeing how I rolled from one side of room to another side. She said I was crazy when she had to see me trying to do my failed backflips hahaha. But it was years before, now I'm back to my non-exercise routine.

So I've decided to start with a small and flexible exercise at home. I'm doing my one-month squat challenge now which I've started to like doing it. It's so easy and I can do it at home. Anytime. Even in the middle of watching Harry Potter.

But the downside of starting any heavy (this is heavy for me haha) exercise is that the muscle pain you got. It's disturbing. My muscle who had rested for so long has to work hard now. Poor dear muscle but this is for your own good okay.

The first few days was the nightmare. And even now, I can't really walk properly. I can't still straighten my legs. Can't even sitting properly on the toilet bowl. Getting down from the bed is already require me a lot of energy. And of course to make it more dramatic I would yell "Ahhh". Hahaha. Sometimes I would just laugh cause it's too painful. It's too funny, but you have no choice.

And sometimes I would just stare at my thighs wondering how much they suffered inside hahaha.

I need to continue this. Wouldn't be like the old Qistina who would probably stop just because it's painful. But I swear, it's painful.

But it got me a little addicted inside. I want to keep doing it. One time, when I sat on my toilet bowl I thought about how beneficial it was to exercise and probably this was going to be a starter to my exercise routine. Yeah, should start with a simpler one first, then I thought of doing yoga/pilates after this, consistently.

#dream #notsureifitsgonnabefulfilledornot hahaha

unlicensed surgeon

I was a 30-seconds surgeon two days ago.

Unlicensed.

I had a dental appointment last week. It went so smooth, I even played Fruit Bump while waiting for my turn and passed quite a lot of levels.

My dentist seemed to take all these dental things so seriously that he decided to put all sort of metals in my mouth. Last month he put a thing call nance on my palate, now he puts the same thing on the lower side of my mouth. It doesn't hurt, but when the metal that is wrapping my tooth keeps pressing my gum, well that makes it hurt!

I took it off! I'm so gonna pretend like it comes off naturally. Dr Mahmoud will buy my lies, he's cool like that. Or else, I can't eat for the rest of the month!

And he put some rubber that attached to my two-distant teeth to pull them together. This is painful! My gum is too old for this. My gum couldn't cooperate much, so I'm struggling so hard to bear the pain. Of course, I can't really eat. In fact, I can't even clench my own teeth.

So now I have two different kind of pain. One comes from the additional nance that keeps pressing on my tiny gum. And the other comes from the rubber that tries to pull my teeth closer to each other.

To make it more dramatic, some ulcers suddenly grew.

What I ate for the first 3 days was a porridge. Boring!

I, seriously can't wait to end all of this.

So what happened was, my wire accidentally came off (I swear it just came off naturally, not me doing that this time hehe) and I didn't know how that happened, that wire was embedded inside my gum! For days! Without even me realized it!

Oh damn. I swear that hurt a lot. Massively. But stupid and innocent me just thought that that was a normal braces pain. Cause I just got my braces fixed 2 days before that. So I purely thought that this might be a normal process. And it's okay I could hold the pain. (But sometimes I was so mad at I-don't-know I just closed my eyes really tight I could feel my eyes hot with tears but the tears didn't come out, probably it wasn't sad enough, just anger hahaha)

But 2 or 3 days after that the pain still continued I just wanted to see if there was any progress with my braces, I hold a small mirror right in front of my mouth, and I tried to search for the wire. Well, where was it?

"Oh god, is that the wire? Inside my gum?"

My gum was stabbed by a wire!

I panicked for a second. I was clueless. No wonder it hurt so much.

I tried to pull it from the gum with my bare hand, I failed.

I tried using a needle, not working.

I finally used a scissor, I clamped the end tip of a scissor in between the wire and slowly pulled it out. I could feel the wire moved inside my gum. NOT FUNNY BUT CREEPY!

Magically the pain just reduced by 70%. That's how I became a fake surgeon hahaha.

I felt like crying because the pain was finally reduced. And because I thought I was so strong to bear such pain.

I mean, how do you feel when there's a metal stabbed inside your gum? Is that comfortable to eat?

I felt like I bite on thorns!

And as I'm writing this, the pain caused by the rubber has reduced. I can even bite pizza now.

It's so fun actually to how your teeth progress. I always run my tongue at my teeth to check if they'd move closer or not.

It's been a week now and I think my tooth moves a few centimeters. Or half/quarter centimeters. Or just my hallucinations. Too excited for my teeth! Hahahaha

As Dr Mahmoud finished with the treatment, he showed me his three fingers and said, "See you again next three weeks".

Yeah, see you when I see you.

*continues checking for my teeth gap if they'd get closer*

too skinny

I've been receiving this a lot lately.

"Why are you so skinny?" "You need to gain some weight" "I think you are too skinny".

Well it turns out to be true. It means, all they said were all true!

I know! I lost some weight and it is not healthy. My current weight is 34.4 kg. My previous weight was 35 +/- kg. I don't know what happened for me to loss such weight.

People out there are struggling to reduce some weight, while I'm having a headache here on how to gain weight. And the feeling is the same. We all want to be normal! And healthy! I know this is so stressful.

I've always wanted to gain weight, definitely. At least to make my BMI normal again. I eat, of course. I eat quite often. Not a lot but quite often (Only eat a lot at that time of the month). I drink a lot of plain water, which may up to 1000 ml in a day. I'm a big eater of vegetables. I eat fruits.

But I don't exercise. I sleep a lot. I eat anything - no restriction. Junk food and carbonated drinks are included, of course. I sleep late at night. And I keep on being stress over stupid things, like "my pizza doesn't turn out to be a real pizza" or simply just like "I don't have anything to wear" hahaha. Which are not that healthy.

And now when the exam season comes, my appetite has reduced I don't know where she goes. I can stand all day just by drinking a cup of Nescafe. I don't really have an urge to eat.

Plus, with this braces on, it feels so hurt to even bite a rice!

So that sum up my lifestyle.

My friends suggested me few methods on how to gain weight. Try this milk. Try this vitamins. Try this and that. Which I was like, yes, that may work on me! Should I try now?

Well, haven't try anything so far!

And my friends try to calm me down like, "Don't worry, you'll gain some weight when you get married".

Marriage must be fun, huh? Hahaha. You don't need food, you'll just need a love.

Or should I just get married?

Hahaha

please be fat

Just finished with 2 exams today (crazy, right?). And so I got home really hungry because I stayed up late last night and I was too tired to eat (I slept with such growling stomach haha), and the only thing I put on my stomach last morning was a cup of hot Milo.

I'd always want to start my day with a huge portion of food as breakfast, like 'breakfast like a king kind of thing' but I can't - maybe because I am not a morning person. My mouth just doesn't feel like eating. I may feel nauseous if I force feeding myself.

So, I rarely have breakfast.

Which is totally not healthy! I remember a few months ago when I just reached Egypt from my summer break in Malaysia, I was having a few episodes of jetlag. So I woke up really early (at 5 am), so by 8 am I already felt really really hungry! At that particular times, I remember I had such prosperous heavy meals throughout the days. I ate 3 to 4 times a day which I thought that was the best achievement of my life hahaha. I was a happy girl!

Because apparently, one of my life goals is to make my body weight normal. I AM UNDERWEIGHT!

Oh, wait, did I mention anything about my hypotension? Sigh, my blood pressure has fallen so low. Plus, I just recover from a pre diabetis which I am still monitoring it till now.

So, what I'd always wanna do is to eat eat and eat. I want to be fat!

Because sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I'd feel slightly hurt to see how I am getting thinner day by day. My cheek bones are showing on both side, I'm growing my own dished face! And my nose appears so big. Damn.

Yes, my metabolism rate is really high. I keep craving for foods, but I eliminate them real fast. Like, "Eh, already want to poop eh?"

It's worsen every time the exam seasons come.

Well, that's not exactly what I want to write about. Actually, due to my hunger and tiredness from numerous exams today, I came home and craved for asam laksa.

So I made one.

Guys, I'd never know it was that easy. *omg, blow nails*.

Asam Laksa Qissy's Version. Which daun kesums and bunga kantan were specially flown from Malaysia hahaha, And of course, with extra onion!

I at at that age now to blog about food that I cook hahah #facepalm

extra metal

November got me 2 appointments with my dentist. 

My dentist never told me anything about what he has planned for my teeth treatment. It's like he has had everything on his mind. When he sees me, he smiles and greets me, "Hi, Nicky" and "Open your mouth". Trust me, he barely opens my dental records, as if he can reads your teeth just by saying hi. *hahaha, really?*

So every time I meet him, I straight away lying down on the dental chair, readily open my mouth, hands grab the chair - just to get myself ready if he inserts any painful things to my mouth. I don't worry much because I know he's an expert. It's like, "hello, I have a microchip in my head that stores all the dental kind of things like that and that stores your dental records too, Nicky".

And I never ask him about his plan of treatment regarding my teeth. I just don't bother to know. Also, it's kind of surprise too to know what's waiting for me on the next appointment. Actually, I'm not really excited to know, I just wanna get the things done. As quick as possible.

I remember the first time I met him, he examined my teeth and said, "Okay, this is simple. You want to start now?

I said, "Yaaah" with my mouth wide open so couldn't properly pronounced 'yes'. Not cool. 

And there it goes. He pasted some metal brackets at the first appointment. Then the wire. Then so on and on.

And last week, he gave me this...

I know! My first reaction was also like yours. "Awhhh" - with some painful reaction on face. Followed by disgusting face that I also feel disgusted with my own mouth.

Like, how long really I have to bear with this thing?

The red part in the picture (it's plastic-made material) is stuck on my palate. It's not comfortable but it doesn't hurt. I always feel like there's something accumulated on my upper part of my mouth, so I need to always question myself that is that some remaining food or just that plastic thing?

Andddd the most hateful part is, the plastic thingy makes my tongue becomes so short, suddenly. Because my tongue couldn't reach the palate, instead of reaching the red thing. Now, I am officially have a lisp in speech.

Hahaha.

I think on my next appointment, my dentist will start to put some rubbers to pull all my teeth closer to each other. I can feel the pain already.

Haih, so the next three weeks from now, be ready to read my painful post.

tissue please

I just ingested a tablet of Loratadine (antihistamine) for my annoying flu. Been almost a week now since I catch a cold. So it means winter is here. This is my annual routine every winter. Cold, flu, runny nose etc.

Fun, right? Because I've demanded so much for the chilled temperature. So face it la.

It's pretty irritating when I feel like sneezing,so my eyes start to water on both sides and my nose feels slightly itchy, but the sneeze won't come out. I. WANT. TO. SNEEZE! Like come on! But it's so funny when you can't stop sneezing, like a contagious one, they keep come out from your nose. What a satisfaction hahaha.

(What kind of girl are you talking so much about sneeze)

I'm afraid you will laugh if you look at me now. I totally look like a woman in a confinement. With long dress (very comfortable and toilet-friendly too hehe), with a cardigan on, with socks on. Anddd now with a small handkerchief to wipe my unstoppable nasal secretion (yucks hahaha).

So my daily routine now include me immersing myself inside a thick blanket, hugging my pillows, watching series of Korean dramas on my laptop. I would place a small coffee table besides me for me to do my homework (or any work). Study desk is now going to be so lonely.

Also my appetite becomes so wild now. I feel like eating so often. I have weird urge to eat now and what's scary is I have specific things I want to eat. This also has something to do with hormone actually.

But now, there's this new batch of mucus coming. Tissue, please?

Hahaha.

teeth update

My teeth are lucky. They have their own blog update.

I remember I've told you how few brackets had fall off of my teeth. And I went for my first dental appointment after summer break hoping to get my teeth to be fixed as soon as possible.

I was quite nervous to see the dentist, I wonder how would doctor react to my broken braces. While waiting for my turn, I was anxiously went online on Twitter, read some tweets but I couldn't focus. I played games but my mind was already inside in the doctor's room.

My turn arrived. I lied down straightaway on the chair. Doctor asked me how was my holiday while asking me to open my mouth.

Dangg.

"Ooooh my god!" - First words from him.

"Am I that bad?" - my heart uttered some words.

"It couldn't have been so bad right? Of course I'm not his worst patient." - I convinced myself.

Of course. He would probably has met a lot more patients who have worse cases than this. Me? Oh, just few brackets fell off. (and actually the whole wire!)

He probably overreacted a little bit. But trust me, he is actually so cool.

And last week, he put on some more brackets on the lower side of teeth. This one, oh my god, I tell you they hurt me so much. In every way. You eat, you sleep, you talk. U can imagine how hurt it is to bite your own lips together with a metal piece.

"Whyyyyy" "Nooooooo" "Arghhhh" - just normal everyday's sayings now.

Ameerul, on the other hand seems so relax. He's acting cool. Cause he doesn't feel this. His only soothing words for me are, "It's normal. You want to be pretty right?"

Hmm. So motivational. #sarcastic

My next appointment is in 3 weeks time.

We'll see what more could be added to my normal sayings then. Hahaha.

braces story

I wonder if braces are really invented for impatient people like me?

I haven't get my braces serviced/changed for almost 3 months now - only get fully treatment in Egypt with Dr Mahmoud.

I went to see a local dentist last month, and he said I needed to do one filling. There's a hole at my upper teeth. My dear, I only get my whole teeth done last month and the main dentist Dr Ahmed said everything was fine.

What have I done to myself?

Hahaha but I refused to get a filling cause I insisted of doing so in Egypt cause I already paid for it. (Including the braces set). So now I think the hole is getting bigger, it hurts so much everytime I bite into something cold and juicy. Damn it.

But wait.. the worst part has not come yet. Haha. My bracket fell off the tooth! Just because I bit the crab! Hahaha. Was I so manja or people with braces should avoid that kind of food? Neither both are me.

Never. Avoid. Food. While. You. In. Malaysia.

It was so annoying that the bracket kept hanging on the wire. So I needed to always adjust the position properly.

Well, okay.

Next was, another bracket fell off again! This time it was due to me biting a pen. Basically I put the pen under my bracket to support my whole head.

Trust me, the more you read this, the more you think I'm weird.

I came back home and I pulled all the wire out. There it went. Now my teeth seem like an undone construction site. Lol.

And I just knew that, if you take off brackets from the teeth, your teeth will be so yellowish.

Now I become a laugh stock to Ameerul. Cause I used to always make fun of his yellowish teeth. You dirty smoker.

Now he has a point to joke around about my weakness.

Okay, so now. I have to wait for another 3 weeks to get my teeth repaired.

p/s: I'm going back to Egypt in 3 weeks.

orthodontic treatment

If you remember I used to complain about my teeth disarrangement  that I was thinking of wearing braces to correct the alignment.

I come to a decision to put on that steel. Firstly, because of the overlapping teeth, I find it so hard to brush my teeth properly that I'm afraid I'm not wholly cleaning all part of my teeth. My toothbrush seems so hard to reach that part.

Second, because of this overlapping teeth, people think my teeth create huge gap with each other and they thought I'm toothless. I admit that my teeth/bone are kind of fragile (I used to make a bone test in one of the health campaigns, just out of my interest, but the result was shocking - the lady said my 23 year-old bones were much less like 40+ year-old bones, I was offended! Hahaha), like in one incident, my tooth cracked due to a trauma of me biting a chicken bone. -___-

So let's be friend with a dentist, and let him corrects all these imperfections.

Third, I want to look good on my wedding pictures. This may sounds ridiculous. But this contributes 70% of the decision making on this hahaha. I probably won't have much time to bother the photographer to take my pictures properly every time of the day since I'm always a fussy customer, so let's make a win-win situation here.

It's been a month since I wear braces now. And it's been around 2 months now that I've been going back and forth to the dental clinic - to prepare my teeth for the orthodontic treatment. I need to correct few damages first. I did root canal treatment, fillings, and all. You just name it! Hahaha.

Well surprisingly, I don't feel pain at all. The dentist decides to put on braces in stages. He put brackets at the selected teeth and let me be like that for a week. Then a week after, he started to put wires and elastic bands.

Because he doesn't want me to feel the pain if he puts everything in one go. What a strategy hahaha.

So seriously, no pain at all. Just a little pressure on my teeth, once in a while and disappear after that.

I just eat what I want, except chewing gum. I remember eating a carrot recklessly and the wire suddenly off of its bracket, my dentist asked me, "Whyyyy?" because he clearly told me before of what to eat and what not to.

"Because it's food, I can't help being hungry and restrain myself over food" - I said to myself.
Hahaha. But actually I always act like a scared chicken in front of any doctors.

But I grow some ulcers! And the ulcers tend to harshly touch the metal bracket, it feels so @#$*&!

*breathe in breathe out*

I'm having a dental appointment once a week instead of a regular once a month routine because the doctor decides so, I told you guys, S-T-R-AT-E-G-Y. I'm okay with that, since he's one professional and friendly dentist.

But I'm taking 3-month break now for my summer break in Malaysia, and will come again to continue this treatment.

See you in 3 months!

p/s: I used to be so scared seeing this haunting chair. I didn't know where I got the strength to sit on that. We are bff now. *blow nails*

toothless

It is not a defect, okay? My teeth are just overlapping with each other and make some gap in between and make me look toothless!

I don't exactly remember when all of this happened. But as far as I remember, my schoolmates used to make fun of me out of it. I'd got a lot of nicknames during high school. Shorty was one of them, obviously.

You know, the perk of having idiot friends hahaha. I wasn't mad, of course. Because we practiced "give and take", so it meant I gave them a lot of nicknames too! Hahaha. So that's how we rolled, that's how we teased each other. High school was the best, wasn't it?

I'm in quite a dilemma. To wear braces or not? To correct this alignment or not?

I whatsapp-ed Shushy this picture and she said, "PM me the gap in the scale of hectare."

This joke is new. Hectare is a new joke on me.

She just expanded her jokes hahaha. Shushy and her lame jokes, forever. But she advised me not to undergo any ortho treatment. She wants me the way I am. And she's scared of the after-effect of braces to me, since she wears one. Her face turns oval now. Not really oval, it's more like oblong now. But she's still pretty to me, even her face would turn triangle!

I heard/read about this quite a lot that wearing braces would slightly change your face shape. I mean in a better way. Your face would be more oriented. Isn't that a good thing? But thing turns differently to Shushy.

And the other friends (diploma coursemate) asked me to keep it too, just because they want me the way I am and overlapping teeth are some kind of having high sentimental value or something like that, according to what they said. Hahaha.

And now my focus has diverted from my teeth to these people's sweet talks.

"Women"

Forget my teeth, I'd rather be toothless then.

Dental spa

I have a love-hate relationship with a dental clinic. I dislike seeking dentist for treatment. I hate the sound of dental machines which makes you feel like clenching you teeth tightly and the painful interaction of your teeth and the machines (or whatever they're being called).

And to make it worst, I actually have such ugly teeth. Holes here and there, disoriented, overlapping tooth, rotating tooth, gap between each others and so on hahaha which makes me dislike dental clinic even more. 

But I really need to do something with these. I come to a realization that my teeth must be treated.

So okay, when the dentist examined my teeth, he laughed! Simply because I had so many teeth to be repaired off and he might be rich just by treating me haha. 

I started to know few dental terms; extraction, traumatized gum, root canal treatment (which I experienced one and gonna need one more RCT sooner), ortho treatment and so on.

Of course I asked for anesthetics for every treatment I was about to undergo. (Not necessary for filling process actually, but I insisted on taking that). It wasn't that painful, but I could still sense the pressure. When the dentist trying hard to pull my tooth out during this one extraction process, he pushed my head downward and digging my gum to search for the teeth. I was terrified! I couldn't clench my teeth but I grabbed the chair so tight just to bear the pain. 

RCT for me was just okay. He gave you a shot of anesthesia. But the process was quite long. Bless you cheek muscles for bearing that that long.

Another story, I did my extraction for my embedded tooth. So the dentist had to cut my gum to take it out. Basically, it was a minor surgery. Well, for a record, that was my very first surgery haha I would never imagined it would be here in Egypt. I was on anesthetics so I couldn't feel anything but the pressure. But my friend Umai witnessed everything the dentist did. She said that my blood just pouring down the gum and maybe that's when I heard the dentist repeatedly asking his assistant for suction. 

And so my gum was in traumatized and I sensed such painful post-operative effect. My cheek had swollen for 3 days and being a laugh stock to Ameerul and my other friends. Never ever in my life I had such tragic surgery hahaha. 

Well I still have a few appointments more to go. 

And when I think about how painful they're, I would just self meditate myself that, "It's okay. Let's just think of it as dental spa"

Bhahaha.

Weak week

While everybody is being busy thinking where to shop or where to eat or how the new OOTD poses should be, here I am in my little room being so busy living my dull life.

(Mid term exams for April and May. Blue marks indicate exams)

Having numerous tests in a month is normal. But it was abnormal this month, where I had some uninvited 'test' coming from I-don't-know-where-who-asked-you-to-come? like period cramp (double Panadol doses this month - which I actually trying hard to avoid. Ahhh I hate it to take painkillers for period. I don't need extra toxics to my body), also diarrhea, vomiting, dehydration and mild fever.

I cried once. Then I had no more energy to cry. Also, crying is for weak, so I thought, "Let's just sleep".

I tried to eat for energy, but my abdomen kept rejecting the foods so I vomited. My body hated water so much so I had diarrhea also. I was really weak. My body felt like drying out of water. I drank some plain water to counter the loss, then I threw up again.

I ate bread, I threw up. I took medicines, I threw up.

My head hurt so much.

The moment when I was about to lie down to the bed, there came a rush of rejected foods coming up from stomach impatiently wanting to go out, forcing me to run to the toilet.

One minute I was crawling to get my water bottle, the next minute I was sitting in the toilet clearing my stomach.

I remember I was shaking when holding the test tubes during my lab test.

T_T

I didn't want to sound so manja, so I didn't skip classes, I tried to pay attention to the lectures, I walked 15 minutes to school, I tried to move to the kitchen, I tried to clear the room up.

After all, I'm not a robot. I have limits. I'm also susceptible to disease cause I'm obviously not immune to everything.

Being ill once in a while is good. Because Allah loves me, He wants me to be strong. Yeaa yeaaah medicinally it builds up our immune system. Those antigen-antibody must work also once in a while.

But this may not be that rough. I was imagining to have the same exact situations with 3 4 kids around you wanted to be nursed and cry for foods.

Hahaha must be a headache. So this may be nothing.

p/s: Didn't tell my parents. Didn't want them to worry. Plus, I'm ok now. :)

Ah-choo!

Awh God! Been a while since I catch a cold. Though my antibody is strong enough, then nahhh, "Don't underestimate us huh!", says antigen.

Last night was terrible. I woke up several times in the middle of the night just because I felt so uncomfortable with my dry throat, so did my nose; it was too dried I felt like something was stuck inside my nose. Euwww. Plus my nose is getting redder since I wipe it too much till it's so hurt to even touch it. Feel like my skin is being peeled.

Loratadine (antihistamine) works best for me so far. Last time when I catched a cold was 6 months ago in Malaysia but it only lasted for 3 days (roughly) after I tried Loratadine (generic one - usually I don't get along well with generic drugs, for example, when I tried Piriton, awwwh such a waste! I was just adding some toxics in body! Same goes to generic Paracetamol. Yeahh, cetrizine also! Hmm. **worries about medical expenses in the future).

So okay, I woke up at 4 am last night feeling so weak, I'd got headache as well as blocked nose. With my barely-opened eyes, I grabbed 2 PCMs and spray Sterimars Nasal Spray into my both nostrils. Awwwh! Best feeling on earth! I continued to sleep then I woke up with a dried mouth, tasting slightly salty! Hahahah! Because Sterimars is ocean-based product.

Ya Allah hahaha.

This is sick, really. I'm getting tired of being so rush to grab a tissue whenever I feel like sneezing. Sometimes it just flow out by itself. Umm, so I usually stuck the tissue inside my nose.

Okayyy I've got to go, new batch of mucus is coming. Ah Choo! Hahaha.

p/s: I don't advise you to self-medicate yourself unless you really know the exact indications of those drugs. So go seek your medical treatment from doctors. Be healthy everyone. 

I love you, uterus

Hello, welcome back my monthly visit! Been waiting for you since your last visit almost 4 weeks ago. So, what's new this month? Anyway, thank you so much for the welcoming party yesterday, it was fun, I was drunk (i.e. crawling in pain) till I threw up and my uterus liked it so much. It couldn't stop partying, it cramped really well until I passed out (i.e. sleep) early last night. Very fun, congratulations. 

Just to let you know, I have received your arrival signs last week. Those migraines and back pains. They were actually giving me hard times since I have few final exams coming up. But I endured it very well. Your enemy called Panadol, they help me to reduce the pain. And I threw up several times too. 

And also, thank you for the welcoming gift where I found myself emotionally and mentally distracted. I cried for no reasons last week. Also, I eat a lot too. Eat instant noodle at 1 am after eating rice at 12 am. My stomach really liked it. But I think Ameerul was a lil bit annoyed, since I mad at him for being late in replying my Whatsapp, which I think not a proper thing to do, well, you know.. He's like the victim here. You are targeting me right? Not the people around me. But he's okay now, so don't worry.

And today, I think the party is still on since the waiters called Prostaglandins are on duty now to make sure that the uterus is still celebrating your arrival, they are so happy that the cramp wouldn't want to stop, even if I try a lot of possible positions to let the pain stop, but nothing has changed. Taking bath also requires a double times than usual cause I have to crawl to get the shampoo. And my every steps also need me to do it in slow motion. Oh, not to forget, well done, I think you do your job really well since I find myself really hurt to just fart out and constipation just make my intestines yell in the toilet.

No, I don't take any medication, I know you hurt me so much, but instead, I'm thankful that you finally come to me, at least you have proved to me that I'm normal and I welcome you with all my heart and let you do your job naturally. For your own future, too! And for your neighbour called kidneys - toxic-free for them, please?

As much as I hate how you torture me, I'm so happy about your visit, every month right on time and be punctual on schedule. You just give me a sign of a healthy body. It's okay if you hurt me, because when the pain comes to me, I know Allah is erasing my sins. :)

 I love you, uterus. Mwah.

Just sharing: Yoga positions to treat the period pain. 

Kidneys must like it, but I think my brain will object this. Ahh, you lazy girl.

Normal

They say, once you are a teacher, you will forever being called 'Teacher'. Once you are a doctor, you are forever being called 'Doctor'. Even after your retirement.

And in my case, once I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic, I will always being treated as a pre-diabetic patient. The word "pre" here always brings a meaning of precautions. People will tell me, "Awwww don't eat that, too high of sugar" or "No more carbonated drink, you are pre-diabetic, remember?"

Got it? This is not fair when I'm no longer a pre-diabetic, correction people, I'm normal now. My blood glucose has fallen into a normal range just like you guys. And I can eat tons of chocolate and gallons of Mirinda now. Hahaha.

What even worst, they will treat me as if I'm an admitted-hospital-insulin-dependant-diabetis mellitus patient with all wires twisting the body, one into nasal, one into blood vein and with concentrated urine in urine bag. Like, "Nooo, don't buy that carbonated drink anymore" when I was just opening the beverage fridge or "Heyy, this is sweet, Qistina cannot eat this".

This is sad.

Poor Qistina is judged unfairly.

My latest blood glucose level. Normal range. Now where's all the carbonated drink at? Haha.

And being diagnosed once as a pre-diabetic, for me, I considered it as a good wake up call. When I'd never bothered about my sugar intake, about my blood glucose level and my health though what I've learned at school everyday was all about health, so, now I make it a habit to have a regular blood glucose checkup. (At least once in 2 or 3 months). And become more alert with my sugar intake now.

My dose of happiness

High risk

Normal blood glucose level.

My blood glucose level. Pre Diabetis Mellitus.

Breathe in, breathe out. Okay, don't panic. This is just numbers. Oh no, this is between life and death. How come a 22-years-old, skinny-underweight and a good girl is suffered from a high blood glucose level? Impossible!

So I sat down and stared at the blank wall and the image of me injecting the insulin right to my stomach is clearly pictured in my head, so I said to myself, "Right, I need to stop taking Pepsi"

Seriously guys, 1 litre of Pepsi, I could finish it in 2 days. I swear, Pepsi is one delicious beverage ever invented (Egypt Pepsi especially - Oh Egyptians, you are blessed!). And whatever delicious is always not healthy. That's annoying.  -_____-

So okay, I come out with a new routine now. I try as possible as I can to go for an exercise (which I never do anything about it so far), reduce sugar intake, drink plain water as much as I can to neutralise the concentrated blood back (high blood glucose, high concentration of blood, wounds take time to heal and scars will probably appear - scared!), try to put cinnamon in cooking dish, manage the stress well, bla bla bla.

3 weeks passed and I manage to reduce my sugar intake! I even stop drinking Pepsi, I mean not completely, are you crazy? Pepsi was like an oxygen before, I needed it. So a very quick gulp of Pepsi last week on a midnight, very quick one cause I was afraid I'll be caught by Husna and I must got ready with some babbling. (I'm sorry guys).

My housemates, they help me a lot, they will remind me about this, tell me to not taking high glucose content food but they eat them in front of me which I just can stare and ask them, "How does it taste?"

Fine.

Husna told me, "You must see your face after you get the result, you're panicked and you wanted to cry".

So, I'm still in the process of reducing my blood glucose level. I'm trying, it's very hard actually especially when I have a lot on my mind - exams, stress, tired body, acne, winter, money and bla bla. 

And you guys don't have any idea how much I miss Pepsi. 

Hahaha.

p/s: I don't dare telling this to my parents. Mom will be very worry and I'm a good daughter so I just want to let her know about good things only. Okay bye.

Pharmacy

I've told you, I had 2 weeks of non-stop cough, thick sputum, flu and cold. I thought I was immune enough! Sigh.

I woke up everyday with a very dry throat, I drank 2 litres of plain water everyday, 2 packets of Strepsils but why it just wouldn't wanted to go away?!

So I thought of self-medication. Went to the nearest pharmacy and asked for a cough syrup.

Me: Do you have a cough syrup?

Pharmacist: What?

Me: Cough. (rubbing my throat)

Pharmacist: Yes. Sputum?

Me: Yes.

Paid to the cashier which was him himself. No other one who helped him. 

Me: How to take this? Recommended dose for 22 years old?

Pharmacist: 10 ml 3 times.

Me: (How did you passed your social pharmacy paper?!)

Such an ayam-itik conversation. Cause most of them can't really speak in English and they don't even understand that. So, no other choice, we need to learn to speak in Arabic. 

Posted this picture on my Twitter, having a comment from one of my friends, "Macam kedai ubat Cina". Hehehe. But pharmacies here make a lot of money, seriously.

This was what I got. Contain only small amount of sedative but it got me sleeping the whole day then. But I stopped couple of days after taking this, cause my cough didn't go away and I wasted my days just by sleeping. No thanks bro, I'd got more to do.

By the way, you knew what I've found?

No more tangles? Yes, pleaseeee. I'd really need something that can help me repairing my damaged hair. Someone told me, "Air sini kotor. Keras.". Hmm keras, whatever but it's true. My hair's keras and my clothes are also keras. Please man, I don't want to go back to Malaysia after 5 years with bald hair.