Dear Past Me

Dear Past Me,


I've received your letter 5 years ago. Thanks for the effort to write and for the high dreams you had on me hahaha. Don't be surprised about what you are going to read now.

To be honest, the current me isn't that much differ to the past me. Just that, I'm getting better than you (a good thing right?). I'm not a pharmacist yet, but I'm turning into one. I'm doing my degree in Clinical Pharmacy in Egypt now. I know! You'd never had a slightest thought of me going far to Egypt. Never ever in your plan. But this is how life rolls. Allah has sent me here, with reasons. And Alhamdulillah for that. I'm happy here.

I've spent almost 4 years here, I'm truly blessed. I've learnt so many things, I get to know the real meaning of life. I feel closer to what we should do in life. My aim was only to become a pharmacist. But it gets so different now, I think being a good Muslim is all that matters the most. Speaking of studies, I think I am just you. Who still stays up late for the last minute revision, I am still the same me hahaha but still having the same aim to become what I've really liked; pharmacist.

(Is it possible for someone to become this loyal? Damn, I must be so weird hahaha).

Family is still the same. I got a sister in law now who is expecting for her first. I'm so excited! Dad is the most excited one, of course. Because he's getting old (taking antihypercholesterolemia now zzz I lectured him about this already don't worry) that he can't really wait to have his first grandchild. He already has his favourite names to give to our first newborn. He would selfies with any of our cousin's children and sends the pictures to our Whatsapp group just to say that "our time is next" hahaha. So exciting. Mum is mum, never change, she's pretty cool about this.

And as me, I'm not married yet. If the plan goes well, it'll be at the end of this year, if Allah wills. I'm gonna blog about this real soon. So maybe in the next letter, you are going to read more about my marriage life hahaha. Yes, with Ameerul (who else?). Told ya, I'm one loyal freak! Ameerul is still nice. He puts everyone ahead before him, as always. You know, it would have be a thick book if I'd got to write all of nice things he's done to me. I am not bragging but he's really one nice creature that Allah has made for me, so complementary and it fits so well like a puzzle hahaha. (That's why he says I'm good at words, I'm one sweet talker you see).

Damia and Adam are still my closest babies. Since I'm in Egypt now, I will only get the chance to meet them once per year. But they grow up so fast now, Damia has a cellphone already. She Whatsapps me all the time with her pictures, songs and so on hahaha.

Let me tell you about Dolls. They are growing up so so well. Many things happen in this 5 years. So many newborns, so many Dolls Jr. Everyone got married and all. And Mc Ah's baby had an operation for her congenital heart problem, it's really sad. But Baby Zara Humaira grows up so well now, she's really strong. And as for my diploma coursemate, we are still close. Still the same as the old us. I'm really happy about this friendship. And I've made a new circle now with my Egypt sisters, they are younger than me but that's really okay cause I feel younger hahaha.

Oh, shopping! I miss to shop. I haven't really shop for the longest time! Wow, can't believe myself. Cause I have no income right now hahaha I'm going back to become a student, so I only get my monthly allowance from my dad. What a sad thing zzzz. Don't bother to buy shoes anymore cause I couldn't find any of my size here, everything is so large, I'm miserable. Plus, collecting shoes now is a bad idea, cause Egypt gets so dusty and I love my shoes, so that's it. Handbag? Nayy. I'm a student now. Backpack is fine for me. Clothes? Nayy. Cairo is far. And everything gets expensive due to Egypt's currency. I used to collect MNG shirts and Charles & Keith handbags before. But any of international brands here are double charged to what they be in Malaysia due to the currency. I remember I really want this Charles & Keith handbag but it costed 600LE, nahh forget it I felt like giving away 6 pieces of 100LE notes, compared to what they'd be in Malaysia (just giving away 2 or 3 pieces of RM100 notes haha), so never mind hahaha. But H&M is tolerable.

So, I only shop in Malaysia when I get back there during summer break.

Well, I may progress slowly, it's fine as long as I put an effort to make myself better. Well, of course life isn't always be easy. But I'm thankful I got everyone around me through my every moments. I'm one happy girl woman.

Thanks to those who stay. I sound like an old lady now and I hate it. I'm still young! *applying anti-aging cream*

Hahahaha.

Not mine, obviously haha. Just me in 2016.

Sincerely,
The Future You.

Dear Future Me 2

Read Dear Future Me 1 here.

Dear Future Me, 

I know you are afraid to receive this letter. Because by the time you receive this letter you will be 30. Don't bother to slap your face, it's true. You are 30. Hahaha. You're counting your wrinkles, no?

So 2020 has been great so far? Any flying cars over there? It's 2015 now here, you are 25 year old lady. But still pretending to be a teenager, of course because you are surrounded by teenage classmates haha.

Well, I'd like to tell you in case you are already forgot that your 20's is so much fun. You were one happy girl. Your only problem was assignment. But still going to school was something fun you ever did. Going to lecture halls and laughed with friends. You think you were funny enough, so you cracked jokes all the time. Your classmates seemed to find you funny, so they laughed along. It's really fun.

You were their class president, remember?

(You missed your campus life really bad, huh?)

You were one happy-go-lucky girl (I mean, woman). You sang just after you opened your eyes every morning. You enjoyed cooking (sometimes lazy also). You watched numerous series of Korean dramas. I bet you are jealous to reminisce this, no working lady?

And waking up late at whatever time you wanted. Actually, you thought you wanted to change your lifestyle especially your bad sleeping pattern. But that one, even your 25-year-old self would probably gave up already hehehe.

Okay, move to another topic. You work? What do you do for living? Pharmacist? Fun? On call is really fun, no? Lol. I know you are missing to be me, right? Hahaha.

How's family? Has the family expands so much? How's friends? Still keep in touch?

They were your source of happiness back then. Don't ever forget them.

So old lady, how many kids have you own now? 

Oh wait! You're finally married? Alhamdulillah then haha. So your husband is still the same Ameerul that I've dated now? Wow you tough girl - I mean he's the tough one here to stand your banyak songeh attitude  hehehe. So, has he stopped smoking? Vape off already? Hahaha. So probably the headache has finally disappeared, right? Or another headaches come now? 

Well, woman. No matter what are you doing now. What problems are you facing now.

 I believe you know that life isn't going to be easy all the time. But remember this, you are one tough lady. You've suffered from so many challenges before. You weren't able to get to study in local university before. You survived staying in Egypt for years and away from family. 

You see? Allah has his way of showing you his endless blessings. Just be tough, Allah is there.

Okay wrinkled lady, your 25-year-old self is really feel like sleeping now. Because a student like me needs a lot of nap time hahaha. I'll see you 5 years later.

Take care. Be humble. Be cool. But still be awesome (Qistina's second law).

Much love, 

Just younger version of you.

(Nik Qistina, in front of Faculty of Pharmacy Zagazig University, 2015)

living diary

Best friend is when.. She remembers something you did 10 years ago when you yourself don't even have any idea about it. 

Shushy is being extra clingy these days. Not even a day has passed without her WhatsApp texts. 

"Qis"

"Whatchu doing?"

"Finish exam?"

"Accompany me to sleep please"

We don't really meet each other too often. Distance factor, maybe. So it means we don't really have a chance to create more and more memories together. No more silly things together. No more new ideas together.

So what we do is, we keep reminiscing those good old times and starting to laugh over them over and over again.

And keep updating about each other and others (i.e: gossips) haha. She's your best partner when it comes to gossips. She's like a gossips bank and I'm the best investor in her bank. Hahaha.

We've been together for more like 11 years and of course, there's so many memories together.

She's recalling them one by one.

Things I did 5 years ago. Things I said 7 years ago. All that in her mind.

Good. She's like a living diary of mine.

And so do I. I remember things she did 6 years ago clearly. 

Of course, we do fight, in fact, a lot! Hahaha. I swear, I was really mad at her whenever we got into fight. We started to throw hateful words to each other. We said bad things to each other just to make everyone felt bad. 

But we made up just after the fight just because we had new gossips to share, couldn't wait any longer haha. 

That's how we roll. 

So, if you're happen to read this, be my living diary forever and stay by my side even if my hair would turns grayish. 

wedding

Been getting a lot of wedding invitations thru Facebook - because no one wants to waste a time to post me a card via international delivery that probably takes 1 month to arrive and obviously I can't attend.

I felt a glimpse of excitement to receive such invitations and I usually went like, "Wow, she's getting married" or "Young, successful and going to get married - how interesting" or "Already?"

Or nowadays that I've been getting so so much invitations that apparently I won't be able to attend, I'll go like, "Awhh whose wedding this time?" or "Whose Raikan Cinta is this?" whilst tapping my phone to open her Facebook invitation page from the notification box.

Confession: I'd always wanted to get married early - at 25. Simply because it's a sunnah. 25 is such a perfect age to get married because usually that's when you're just starting with a stable career, you can afford to buy your own assets, you're technically mature enough to manage a household and taking care of babies.

Also you can befriend with your own children when they get older because the age gap isn't that huge. I wanna be my children's bestfriend - even though they don't want to.

I wanna see how they progress. I wanna be there on their graduation days. I wanna be there inside their labour rooms. #clingyfuturemomalert

Am I right? Okay, maybe my talks are cheap. Hahaha.

So being 25 years old now, any signs of getting married is really nowhere to be seen. Not even a slightest hahaha.

No pressure of course.

Because I need to complete my studies first. Marriage is not a race okay.

I know my life is progressing a little slower than the others. But truth be told, that doesn't give me a pressure. As long as you enjoy doing your own things and stick to your goals. I actually have so many dreams to achieve - though everything seems to move so slow for me.

"It's okay if you'd get it done later than others. This is not a race. All that matters is you and you ambition." - Dad, 3 years ago.

Well, we can just plan, no matter how great our plans are, it's only Allah who has the power of deciding everything.

So now, I'm just focusing on the wedding... of my big brother. Hahaha but it's really really nice to see their preparations. From wedding invitation card, door gifts and all.

Okay now. I'm going to go back to books.

Study week now. Nerd alert mode on.

Disappear

Hahaha I can't believe I just abandoned you, my dear blog. It was last year since we've been together. Last year, I repeat. So I guess there should be a lot to tell you. But actually, nothing much has happened within these 4 months.

You know, same routine as before. I am still a student okay. And now a degree student, so much pressure, so much stress. Somehow I missed how the things used to be during my diploma years. What made it so so precious to me was that bunch of silly friends that sincerely stuck with me through my ups and downs, like literally!

And Alhamdulillah, things are still going on well between us all, though some said distance might kills us. Thank Allah, I don't know how we do this, but we are still the old us. Same jokes, same laughter, same hateful fights, same stupid nicknames.

Sometimes, I ponder how blessed my life is with these people. And Dolls too. They aren't any single people on earth that can even replace them. Even the slightest. I know it's almost impossible to find a friend who would take you as you are, who you can be really silly with, you can just be yourself, cause they won't judge. Simply because they don't want to judge. Cause they are the same too! Hahaha. But these people, I don't know what I did that Allah has been so generous to send them to me.

Distance doesn't really kill us, but we still missed few gossips!

So now we make most of technology by make it mandatory for everyone of us to send a selfie on our WhatsApp group. With hashtag #selfiehariini. So annoying right. So basically I woke up by seeing their selfies. Very cheap ah you guys hahaha.

Anyhow, this is my life. This is my precious friendship. I'm looking forward to seeing their selfies 50 years from now. With wrinkles. Hahaha. 

I used to own hundreds pictures of us during our old days. So whenever I feel like missing them/the moments, I would go flipping through our pictures and started to tersengih like kepah hahah. Now, bye bye my lappy just crashed. Pictures disappear. But memories don't! 

Long hiatus

Wow, long break. Anyone misses me? I've just arrived in Egypt btw and my long disappearance in Malaysia for my long summer break, well, as usual, never be disappointed. Just few catching up meetings with my family, relatives, friends and boyfriend (s) - hahaha, you wish.

Celebrating Eid ul-Fitri and Eid al-Adha in my country, nothing beats the happiness from this. Extending my own holiday (cause it's Egypt ftw - you are free to create your own rules and protesting is their thing haha), it's just worth it.

Mom and I doing terawikh at home

Family members on mom's side 

And you know, what I love the most about being at home is food. All sort of foods. I'm not a big eater but my love for food is endless and eternity. Especially, seafood. My mom cooked me all sort of prawn dishes everyday which is equal to a heaven.

So I'm back here in Egypt for semester 5 of my course, I'm ready to rocking my normal routine (i.e: sleep, korean dramas, cooking, study, sleep again and counting days to go back to Malaysia), but this feels really long.

Semester 4 results? Hahaha don't ask. It was the worst results ever in my whole life. Just because of this one subject called 'General Microbiology & Immunology' which took itself 4 credit hours had ruined all my grades, and so did my CGPA. Just like a black sheep I tell you this subject. And the consequence continues this semester. So I happily registered for 'Clinical Microbiology' this time.

Okay few more updates.

Mom has been addicted to korean dramas now.

My younger brother is going to graduate real soon.

Dolls - as always. Nynaa is pregnant. Bunny is getting married next 2 or 3 months. Fifiey is doing Masters now. Shushy has to go through few semesters more to graduate.

Adik Hafizah - my youngest cousin. Haihh, getting pretty and clever this girl.

Adam and Mia (my nephew and niece) - keeps growing up and fighting against each other more often. I love it when they hadn't seen me for a long time, and when I showed up, they're just smiling and hug me shyly. They're really growing up.

Ameerul Ashraf - becoming more like Adam and Mia. Fighting and arguing with me whenever he got the chances. Hehehe.

And the best part of my holiday, was having a small reunion with my ex diploma coursemates. Ahhhh I really love this meeting. It was really really really good.

Definitely will update about them specifically later.

Such a nice summer break for me. I just can't wait to see what's waiting for me next summer break.

:)

More "Dear Future Me"

I suddenly remember that I used to write this entry. "Dear Future Me" entry that I wrote 3 years ago. And I reread it again. My life in 2011 was much less like what I'm in now. The past me and the present me are students. We are still addicted to shopping. We are still dating with the same guy.

Few differences of course, I'm doing a degree now. Degree in Pharmacy. Oh Lord, the one that I used to be crazy of. The one that I wailed about so much.

It was fun seeing how was I progressing. And kind of teary up reading how much I hoped for a better future. Ahhh yes, I'm becoming a little bit more sensitive now, my hormones are mature I guess - that would be another difference than the old me haha.

Hormones - another story. I like being an adult. I mean, when I was a little girl, I didn't grow up watching Sailormoon or Powerpuff Girls or any cartoons because I had no interest in them. I tried to watch them so I could join my classmates talking about how powerful those girls were, but I ended up switching the channel haha.

I was more like these - I adore Dian Sastrowardoyo so I kept my hair long just like her. I was amazed seeing how the ladies in the movies were able to have such wonderful wardrobe. I started to have a full facial set when I was 12 - my dad was afraid if my skin couldn't tolerate them, but I bought them secretly. I read teenager's magazines (Remaja, Marie Claire, Female), I wanted to wear what Puteri (Fazura in Gol&Gincu) wore (omg I was so much spoiled). I bought a slimming lotion when I was 14 - mom scolded and start to force feeding me hahaha. I decorated my room with fresh plants - things that my classmates would say, "Omg, you're like my mum". So basically growing up was the most thing that I was looking forward. Hahaha.

So being an adult, am I satisfied now? Hahaha. I really feel like an adult now. I've got pains from period, worry about money, getting headache about study, problems after problems. I was seeing these a lot in the movies when I was a kid, so no surprise but now it's real. So.. let's just face it.

Basically it's all about growing up. I will continue to grow up (or it's aging?) and there's so much more things waiting for me in the future.

Graduation. Job. Wedding. Marriage. Family. Kids.

And I know they will be a lot tougher than now. Imagine, how is it would be getting a period pain during an important meeting at work and getting a call from a nanny informing about my little baby is catching a cold? *faints*

Hahaha.

So let's just live our present life beautifully and make sure our future will be proud of it.

And I thought of doing another "Dear Future Me". 

24 y/o

22 years ago.. Pardon the cheeky smile. I'd always looked like a naughty little girl who would pull your hair with no guilt.

22 years ago, I was celebrating my birthday with my two brothers. Definitely the stubborn sister would never want to share the knife for cake-cutting with the other siblings. And now, unofficially being 24 years old, there's so much more to achieve rather than fighting over a cake knife. 

I don't really have a new year resolution. What I want to do is, doing my best in whatever that I'm going to do ; whatever, I mean, in my studies, relationship, cooking, or even sleeping. Hahaha yes, the same Qistina as in 2013. 

Being a student in 2014, I'm still in my second year of a degree programme. No pressure, but yes, can't wait to finish it. I mean it.

Being a woman in 2014, (24 is considered as an adult, thank you), I've no pressure in marriage too. My mom's getting married when she was 24. And I've been receiving wedding invitations from my friends almost every week. My best friends are going to tie the knot real soon (again, without having me in Malaysia. Seriously, aren't Dolls feel guilty getting married without having me as a bridesmaid?). 

But frankly, I knew every details of my life has been planned properly. Starting from the moment when my mom popped me out, and school and friends and work and marriage and kids. So, nothing to be scared of. I believe that everything has been arranged nicely, and I just have to play a beautiful role and enjoy the present moment. Just make the best of it, so you won't regret it later.

Sigh. 

I'm so grown up. My hormones work very fast on a new year that I can't believe I just talked about life. It's only 3rd January, man. Haha. 

Homeeee!

Guyssss! I'm homeeeeee! *half shouting as I sandwiched my face within my two palms*

Well.. Last 2 months.

Great, it has been months since I come back and I only update about this. Irresponsible. I know, haha. Nothing much has changed, it's just that the exam result has out, I'd got to spend my short break in Istanbul ( which surely needs the blog posts of its own!), I've done with my Ramadhan here, and just begin with Syawal here, and I'm working now (part time), and few things going on with Dolls, wait woowww.. It seems a lot actually. Haha.

Well okay, for a start. I'm safe and sound here.

Ramadhan was great. One thing about fasting that will always bothering me, my UTI. The last Ramadhan was included, UTI somehow took its toll on me, I just have to bear few hours of no drinking, means my body lacked of water and less urine secreted. Painful, I swear. And I thought that maybe Allah has a special count on me on this, so I relaxed a bit. Psychology, you knowww.

And the result for my first year's exam. I didn't managed to get Mumtaz (as expected haha) but it was quite near to Dean List, so Alhamdulillah. But still, that was a sign that I should work more. More. More. Or maybe less Running Man, less sleeping, less online window shopping.  Yeahh, I'm tired too, of listening the same promises again and again, cause I knew I'm never gonna do it, well.. at least I try, no I mean, at least I promise haha.

(OOTD by Mum)

Hahaha, I know!

New year resolutions

Nah, forget it. I'd broke them already.

But wait, I know we should have these missions or they call it wishlist for 2013. So basically, we are going to try so hard to fulfill these aims. And I'm no exception. I want 2013 to be better than I had on 2012.

 2012 was the best. I've resigned from work for good, I came to Egypt, I made new friends and I learn how to be more independent (I mean, I tried to manage my money well, cause I couldn't simply do something crazy with my money anymore since my dad and I are now sharing the joint bank account. My dad will receive a text message regarding the money flow and I'm in a trap. Haha).

(I remember my conversation with my dad few weeks ago telling me to manage my money well and be discipline. Ay ay dad!)

But well, that's the challenge. I hope 2013 will help me doing some money saving. But Zara, H&M and Esprit did some sales off and I accidentally broke my promise. Okay, I'm sorry. Uncontrolled action.

And, attitude. I must change something about this too. My punctuality. I know it when I say 4 pm, I will only go out at 5 pm. Awful, I know. I need to be more discipline and 2013 will help me be better in time.

People can change guys. So, why go too fast on judgement?

I believe everyday is always a new beginning of something. It doesn't mean that you're fail when you can't achieve something. Life is full of surprise and it's a miracle. Nothing is impossible cause Allah created this with reasons. The key is to try, honesty and tawakkal. Allah will help you in that.

And my new year wishlist is to be a better person (so random!), a better muslimah, a better daughter, a better student, a better friend and whatever that I'll do, I'll do it earnestly (including shopping. Well, I have few wishlists over new handbag and shades, well to prove you that I'll be so much determined into this - but all that I've got to do is saving some money and discipline).

Remember guys, the beginning is always the hardest. Keep calm and try and tawakkal. :)

December

Well December, I just need to welcome you. Time has a funny way to fly without us realizing it. So fast, I mean so fast that I can still remember how fine I was doing my diploma years. How fun my working life was, how happy I was in the early weeks in Egypt. Finally, the end of the 2012. No, that's not my point.

It's December guys. My final exams month. Really freak me out. Life indicator guys, life indicator.

And speaking about December, it is winter in Egypt. Oh my, my skin is never as thick as what it is now. Very funny, I'm shivering almost all the times. (Just reasons to buy myself new winter clothes collections, zzz).This is only Egypt man! But I loveee the weather, very cold, calm and my bed suddenly becomes my most comfortable place on earth.

December has just began. So good luck. :)

And I'm still trying to reduce my blood glucose level. Wish me luck.

#DecemberWish just fruits, fruits, fruits.

p/s: Happy 28th month anniversary, my favourite man.

Pharmacy

I've told you, I had 2 weeks of non-stop cough, thick sputum, flu and cold. I thought I was immune enough! Sigh.

I woke up everyday with a very dry throat, I drank 2 litres of plain water everyday, 2 packets of Strepsils but why it just wouldn't wanted to go away?!

So I thought of self-medication. Went to the nearest pharmacy and asked for a cough syrup.

Me: Do you have a cough syrup?

Pharmacist: What?

Me: Cough. (rubbing my throat)

Pharmacist: Yes. Sputum?

Me: Yes.

Paid to the cashier which was him himself. No other one who helped him. 

Me: How to take this? Recommended dose for 22 years old?

Pharmacist: 10 ml 3 times.

Me: (How did you passed your social pharmacy paper?!)

Such an ayam-itik conversation. Cause most of them can't really speak in English and they don't even understand that. So, no other choice, we need to learn to speak in Arabic. 

Posted this picture on my Twitter, having a comment from one of my friends, "Macam kedai ubat Cina". Hehehe. But pharmacies here make a lot of money, seriously.

This was what I got. Contain only small amount of sedative but it got me sleeping the whole day then. But I stopped couple of days after taking this, cause my cough didn't go away and I wasted my days just by sleeping. No thanks bro, I'd got more to do.

By the way, you knew what I've found?

No more tangles? Yes, pleaseeee. I'd really need something that can help me repairing my damaged hair. Someone told me, "Air sini kotor. Keras.". Hmm keras, whatever but it's true. My hair's keras and my clothes are also keras. Please man, I don't want to go back to Malaysia after 5 years with bald hair.

Arrival

8 hours on the plane. 5 hours transit in Kuwait. 2 hours journey to Cairo. 24 hours crying. Seriously, I cried a lot on the plane. Immersed my face into the shawl that I put on my head and sobbing non-stop. And I got an attention of a person who sat next to me. She asked me then, "Are you okay?". I said, "I'm sad. Don't you feel sad?"

Pffft. I hate myself. When I still want to be friendly even though I was not in the good mood. And I looked like stupid then when asking such stupid question. Never mind then. My sadness took its tool on me. 

(That girl is now my classmate and we are okay).

You know, I shed tears almost all the time. Didn't care how big the eyebags would came next. 

Anyhow, I tried to motivate myself that I come here to study. Pharmacist, yes. Pharmacist, yes. Then I cried again. Oh pleaseeee. A lot of dramas.

And sitting for hours in a plane actually bored me. I was thinking about Mini Shopaholic novel that Shushy has promised to give me, but she never give me, Janji Melayu ever. Then I remember about Shushy, how close we were and I sobbed again. Haaah, so fragile then.

Okay. This is Suez Canal. Godddd, very beautiful view. And someone told me that long, small white dots were the ships. Oh right, History subject, Form 2. Right. Now I knew.

Egypt. Pastel buildings' colour. Sandy. Dusty. One week here and I still got cough.

My ex diploma coursemate, Rab, she told me to be good here, to study well here, bla bla bla heheh and I was touched when she said, always be careful of what you say and do. This is bumi barakah. She made me ponder for minutes. She's right. I should behave. You can't find wacky Qistina in Egypt, but honestly, I'm in the process of being a good person. I learn new things every day. So yes, please guy, just pray for my best. 

:)

Packing and leaving

I don't want to go back to this time again. It was such an awful moment, choosing what clothes to bring, folded them and arranged them neatly. And thinking how was I going to bring all of these?

Because I needed to take 2 flights on that day of departure. First flight from Kelantan to KL and KL to Egypt. So it meant my bags needed to be weighted 2 times. Dad said, "No extra kilos. Just bring important things". Hellllo, Kuwait Airlines only allows 30 kilos. How was I supposed to start a new life here with only 30 kg?! Oh man.

Okay.

Messy, I know. But that's not the point. I had to leave half of my clothes and bring only the important ones. Hello, maxi dresses were important actually. I mean what's the point of checking ThePopLook's website every 10 minutes just to make sure the stock were in so you won't missed buying it, then found out that you had to leave the dresses in Malaysia and only come back next year?!

Well, that's what I faced. I said to Ameerul, "I'm frustrated. I have to leave many of my fav clothes. And some of them, I never wear them. You know, my heart sinks and I shed tears when I put my red pant into the cupboard".

Ameerul replied, "Can you just be normal?"

Man never understand.

And I said to mom, "This one, I never wear this, I will be sad if you wear this first." (Cause mom and I share the same size).

Well you know, I repacked my luggage almost 6 times but it still overweight. You know how we measured it? This...

Yes this hahaha. But this one's accurate. Then I gave up, I said to mom, "I don't want to go to Egypt". Mom said, "We can do this". She repacked it then.

And yes, some dramas at the airport. I told my mom to not cry.

Adik Ejah who refused to be in my arm at first. She might not know how far Egypt was. I miss everyone in Malaysia now. 

Solid

Wherever I go now, everyone will ask me when I'll be going to Egypt. Second question is, are you prepared enough? Then they will say, Egyptians will wear veil and jubah. And, the weather there is hot, two times to us. 

Same. Things. Ever. 

But I thank them. At least they keep reminding them about the environment there. How tough the condition will be. How strong should I be. Truth be told, I'm half ready. 

And I make sure that I'm getting used to certain things like time, temperature and many things more so when I reach there, I won't feel so awkward. 

Like..

So everytime when I look to my cellphone for time, I'll automatically can see what's the time in Egypt. And I'll start wondering what I'll be doing then. Haha.

Yes, dictionary. Very very important. This dictionary was provided by AQM during our orientation programme.

And everything is almost done. I'm readyy! :)

Palazzo pant and flying fox

When they told us about the tentative of my orientation programme, I was like, wow, flying fox. Must be really fun. Never tried it before so this was really my first time.

I'm not afraid of height but I'm afraid of death and I believe that the higher you climb, the higher the tendency of you falling down, getting hurt and higher possibility of dying. Seriously, my most stupid hypothesis. But well, blame my science subject because it taught me to predict.

And it's not about height now. It's a about my pant. 

I wasn't told about my schedule of flying fox turn, so I wore palazzo pant on that evening. Flying fox and palazzo pant are surely can never get along to each other. 

This was what they call ukhuwah. Luckily, my friends voluntarily tied my pant so I won't step on it. Thanks guys. I owe you my life. Hehe.

Yeah, fashion victim ever but I was safe.

It was fun, I swear. No matter how scary it would be at first, it would end up being the most satisfied thing cause you're doing it by your own, yes with the help of those safety equipment.

The most important thing is I'm still alive now! :)

Tanned skin

I've mentioned before about the location of my orientation programme. Yes, near to the beach. But it never crossed my mind that my skin would change one tone darker. Haha very funny. Well, it's not actually. On the 5th day there, when I looked into the mirror, I felt something different with my face but I just couldn't tell what. 

My face looked pale, a lil bit hollow and my eyes were about to come out from their sockets and eyebags of course. So I thought, I must be lacking of sleep, maybe.

Ameerul picked me up (it was another story. It wasn't him who were supposed to show up. He said he was in Penang and he asked Aiman, his brother to help him picking me up. So I thought Aiman would come taking me, well, it's not Aiman, it's Ameerul. Oh you liar. Surprise ha ha ha! They were manipulating me, but seriously, they were forgiven, I was happy then).

So, Ameerul told me, "You're darker now. Hahaha. Serve you right".

I stared at him for a while. Yes! Skin tone. I was a lil bit darker and that had changed my face.

I was like, "But I'm still brighter than you".

Him, "I'm a man. Well, no one wants you after this. You just imagine, this is only Morib, when you're in Egypt soon, 5 years there, how your skin tone will be?"

He's such an evil, wasn't he? Sigh..

Well, he's right. Until I'm writing this post, my skin tone is still the same and face moisturizer doesn't help at all.

This picture. This is the point when my skin tone was about to change. Thank God that I was thinking to capture a picture at this particular moment. A new chapter of my skin tone revolution. Hi sawo matang. Goodbye kuning langsat.

Childish

I broke off with Ameerul for 3 hours yesterday.

Very funny. 

-_______________-

We are 22 years old, please, but we're really acting like a child. Breaking up everytime we got into a fight. Haha. 

So I texted Shushy,

Me: The rain is crying with me.

Shushy: Hey wassup darling?

Me: He's not for me.

Shushy: Why? Did I missed something?

Few hours later..

Me: He's for me back. Bye.

Seriously, am I annoy you much? HAHA.

But don't worry, we made up 3 hours after that.

I texted Ameerul too.

Me: Thanks for everything.This wonderful 29 months. I can't never find your replacement bla bla bla... 3 to 4 long text messages. 

Ameerul: Cut the drama please. Don't want to waste our time while you're still in Malaysia. 

Me: (I know that. Hehe).

Well guys, I have LOADS of things to update. Am so excited. Raya with Ameerul and few things more. I've told you that I needed to attend this one orientation programme and I'll blog about that too. It was fun OMG.  But my skin is a little bit darker now. Orientation programme means you can't never choose the venue, so when it was being held near to the beach, you are expecting to say, Oh God, thanks to beach wind breeze, you tanned my skin. One of the preparation to Egypt, huh? Haha.

Last

So I'm officially unemployed! God, sounds so terrible. Haha. So now what I do at home is basically waking up to whatever time that I want. Which is a total satisfaction. They say, redeem your sleep time. Haa, now I will listen to you. 

You know, when you get used to something, and suddenly you have to leave  it, you know you'll feel like something is going not right and that's just awkward!

Truth be told now that I miss Tawakkal already. The environment, the work flow, the work processes, and yeah, working buddies. I went to Tawakkal yesterday.  I accidentally left my phone charger there and just went there to take it back. Tawakkal is no longer my second home, so I can't just simply leave any of my belongings there anymore, got it? Hehe.

Bun and Abang Sem worked on the evening shift.

I said, "Let me do this medication chart. This is my last time touching this, really".

They said, "Last time, yeah, last".

Sarcastic much! Haha.

Abang Sem. Sifu of Pharmacy. Tall. Very thin. Married. And he has no Facebook account. Hehe. He's a wedding adviser to Iffni and I. Very expert in handling love crisis among couples. I shared a lot about my life with him. He's very good at listening and his opinion were really sincere. Like one day, when I told him I was happy and proud of Ameerul because Ameerul was managed to get himself in a quarter final in DotA tournament, and Abang Sem was like, "Yeah, make sure he wins and ask him to treat you. Money money". Haaa, that's why I like him! Haha.

But when it comes to work, Abang Sem is the most fierce one! Listen to my advice, run guys. Run! Run from him! Haha.

One thing from him that I won't forget, "Bila bercakap, ingat lah dengan siapa kita bercakap, apa yang kita ucapkan. Jangan sampai makan diri."

:')

Dilemma

What have I gotten myself into? -__-

Okay, this was okay, quite interesting. They'd invited those brilliant and successful panels who used to study there in Egypt. Nice tips and advice. Great motivational talk. I was all inspired. But I yawned few times then.

I played Temple Run. I played Fruit Ninja. Tried to concentrate but what I'd ever thought was, "Is this really what I want?", "Am I doing the right thing?", "God, I actually have gone this far!", "I'm going to Egypt in couple of months more".

So I whispered to Iffni who sat next to me, she said, "Hoi we are doing it halfway okay!"

Okay. Am I normal?

Dilemma.

Ameerul saw this picture and said, "Fake smile!" You jelly, man! He said that he didn't want me to smile like this in our wedding photos (if only I get married to him hehe).

Okay. I'll smile like this then. Bye.