Alya Qistina

Monday, January 24, 2011


I've received this sheet of paper 4 weeks ago, clearly by tears. Not that happy, surprised tears, you see. I wanna be the last person seeing this letter and be the last person knowing the decision that my parents have made. Because I know, no matter how hard effort that I put to make this letter to a place that I want, I'll never make it happen. It's just that, well I know I can put this letter in the frame and let it just hang inside my room sadly. I can't go and I won't go.

Indonesia. Not because of the distance. I would dying for my degree, which exactly equal to my future, obviously. I would go anywhere it takes to be in pharmacy degree line, clearly not Malaysia, my pointer seems to be too far to fit into it. It's not the pharmacist tittle or salary income that matter most, I wanna put myself in higher education level than that I was before. I want education.


Pharmacy is really killing me. Malaysia's new requirements, competiton and bla bla bla. Duh, why didn't I struggle like almost death during diploma, huh? Silly me.

I walking to work everyday, a queasy feeling is like a burden in my stomach, thinking on how my future could be. I was thinking to switch to Medicine line, but my decision seems last for only a week! I went to the hospital, entered several wards for some visit, then I realised I can't stand the condition of being a doctor. I don't know why, I would easily say no to blood and injury! *Vomit.

Come on, big girl. Where did you left your smile? Wear it. There'll always be a time to learn.


  1. sorry to ask, why can't you go? any way, everything that happens have its own reasons. You can still pursue your study to the highest level you can reach if you want to. we all are praying for you. i want all of us to be successful and really hope that everyone can study pharmacy for degree. Anyhow, Im praying for you to get whats best for you. :) Insya-Allah. let us all pray for the better. take care.

  2. jom amik audiology jela....senang2 aku ajarkan....btw, u have to make up ur mind syg....u urself know the best....

  3. Faridah: Farifdahhhh! You're such a sweetheart dear. Thanks so much for always giving me support. I almost cry while reading through your comment. I'm hoping the best for all of us too, good luck Faridah. Grab Sarjana Farmasi excellently. You've got that chance that everybody yearn for, just make it perfectm i know you can do it. Take care.

    Loooonggg comment meh? :p

  4. Bunny: Dear, thank you. I know you're with me bestfriend. :)

    Allyza: Elly! Senior, I really envy you in studies. You're so right that I've to make up my mind. Been so stress out handling this matter by myself. Thanks dear, at least I've got such nice friend like you.

  5. b,dont regret for what is hapening. mybe there's something nice is waiting for you. idk how to comfort you but no matter what, u're the best for me! saranghae <3

  6. Aficha dear. Thanksssssss so much. A simple inspiring comment of you is more than enough to comfort me. Now I'm just hoping for a miracle to come and propose me for a better education thing. I love you more more more muah muah muah. :)

  7. qist, just wondering. why you cant go? why you cant accept it? just grab it dear. it's your chance. maybe i dont know the reason why. yeah, i dont know your own reason, but why? if it's bout miles or confuse, istikarah is the best solution i guess. well, all the best to you. insyaAllah, Allah knows what is the best for you.

  8. omg!! kak qist. indonesia. if i were you, i'll be going. thats what i want. but, its up to u. fikirlah masak2. and most important buat keputusan dgn sepenuh hati okayy :)

  9. Kak Elin: Thanks for dropping by sweet senior. It's not that I refused to go. I'm dying to go, I really wanna be there doing my degree. But this is just too sudden. Malaysia changes the requirement for degree which my ponter can't fit it in and that's when I in second year, my final year won't contribute any pointer for me, just practical training. It's too fast, and costly plus risky.

    Thanks Kak Elin. Take care.

  10. Emy: That's what I dying for all this whileee! I just can't go with this too sudden decision. It's hard to convince your dad that you're fine with stable economic abroad. Quite risky there because there might be some difference with Malaysia's system. I mean when I finish my degree, there would be a risk of registrable qualification here. I'll go someday because this is what I want. I'll do my degree here or there. Or I might go there, doing Pharmacy or Medicine.

    Thanks Emy.

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  12. oh, no worries hun. rezeki Allah kat mana2. dont be sad. i bet Allah knows the better one for you.

    “Orang mukmin sama ada lelaki ataupun perempuan akan sentiasa diuji oleh Allah s.w.t, sama ada dirinya, anaknya ataupun hartanya sehinggalah dia menghadap Allah s.w.t tanpa dia membawa dosa sedikitpun.” - HR Imam Tirmizi -

  13. waa.. tawaran yang bukan selalu leh dapat 2.. rugi kalau dilepaskan cam2 je.. tapi kalau memang xde minat kat farmasi, xyah r pakse diri 2.. yang penting, pk betul2 sebelum decide k?

  14. dear..
    i pray the best for u..
    u know what's the best 4 u..
    no worries, keep moving n never turn over to grab what u want..
    smile ya.. x mao cedih2.. ;))