I've received this sheet of paper 4 weeks ago, clearly by tears. Not that happy, surprised tears, you see. I wanna be the last person seeing this letter and be the last person knowing the decision that my parents have made. Because I know, no matter how hard effort that I put to make this letter to a place that I want, I'll never make it happen. It's just that, well I know I can put this letter in the frame and let it just hang inside my room sadly. I can't go and I won't go.
Indonesia. Not because of the distance. I would dying for my degree, which exactly equal to my future, obviously. I would go anywhere it takes to be in pharmacy degree line, clearly not Malaysia, my pointer seems to be too far to fit into it. It's not the pharmacist tittle or salary income that matter most, I wanna put myself in higher education level than that I was before. I want education.
Pharmacy is really killing me. Malaysia's new requirements, competiton and bla bla bla. Duh, why didn't I struggle like almost death during diploma, huh? Silly me.
I walking to work everyday, a queasy feeling is like a burden in my stomach, thinking on how my future could be. I was thinking to switch to Medicine line, but my decision seems last for only a week! I went to the hospital, entered several wards for some visit, then I realised I can't stand the condition of being a doctor. I don't know why, I would easily say no to blood and injury! *Vomit.
Come on, big girl. Where did you left your smile? Wear it. There'll always be a time to learn.