Confessions.

I've just come to realization that I need to save my money. Money. Frankly speaking, I'd always have a problem with money. I might spent too much on unimportant things, I might be too fragile to just seeing sale signs, I might overbudget on everything and I know that sometimes I'm too strong-headed to listen to any advice that they have given.

I've never told anyone how much I spent in a month just for my clothes, shoes and handbags except to Ameerul. Not that I voluntarily told him what I had bought, but you know what, he kept asking me what I bought everytime I went to the mall. I just can't lie.

And if my dad was asking me the same question, I'll always telling him the truth. And thank God my dad never ask for it so far. Or else, you can only find me in a grave. Oh God. SCAAARY!

The same thing goes for my mum, aunts, granny, and even my colleagues. They were so kind-hearted and never gave up to tell me to stop buying unnecessary things. I mean like, I told them that I wanna buy a nice Chanel blusher and I was being scolded for that. They told me that was too expensive and I can get even much better blusher than that by cheaper price.

And I don't get them. I mean, it is not that I don't want to listen to them, it is just that, I want that bloody Chanel blusher like, I'm dying for that. Am I bad?

I'd actually want to further my study next year. So my dad told me to always have a saving money so I won't be too dependent on him. He even wants to create a bloody bank account just for me to keep some of my monthly salary inside it! And that might be one of his ways in order to make sure that I'm not over budget to what I'm going to spend. Maybe because I'm a teenager, the more he advises me, the more I become repellent to it! I act normal, am I?

Don't ever ask me how much do I save up until now, cause it is zero in number. And at the end of the month, I'll ask my mum for some money. I'm bad, I am totally bad. Because I know that my mum won't has a heart to see me starving. And I'll always promise her that I'll pay her immediately after I get my salary.

You know what, I've just realized that, I haven't wear maybe 5-6 clothes that I had bought before. I might be forgotten about their existence, perhaps.

I tried to be a better person each time my salary came out. But I found that it was only last for hmm maybe 2 days after that. I was cruel to myself. I swiped here and I swiped there like I'd never had a future.

So here I am, promise to be a better person. I promise to wear all those never-wear clothes and I try to cut back.

I hope this may last for err a year, perhaps. Because I'm going to further my study next year wohoo.

p/s: Because student will always find it easier to get money from parents. And scholarship too!