Alya Qistina

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Give me some, please?

(Picture from, obviously 9GAG)

Work has been really nice to me lately. Everything was just okay. Cool colleagues. Nice environment. I just can't imagine how my life would treat me next. 2 months from now, I'm no longer here. No more working life for me. No more pressure. No more politics or whatever and that's supposed to be a good news to me, but truth be told, it wasn't that easy. Tawakkal has been a part of me since this past a year. I admit, work can be so stress sometimes but I'm happy being here.

But I promised myself to only work 1 year here. Then I resigned to continue my degree. That's how I've planned my life. And it happens now.

And I embarrassingly admit, I'm not ready for Egypt. Mentally. Emotionally. Seriously. Egypt is one thing. I'm afraid to face my new life there. I'm not sure what my life would be there. People keep telling me how good to be there, how lucky to get this opportunity to go there, how my life will just turn out to be okay. But how? Tell me.

I know what life needs us to be. We need to be strong. Never satisfied on what we've had. Move on. Brave to face obstacles. Bla bla I know.

I'm just not ready. This feeling that push me where I know I have to do it.

This is what I really want. Further my study in Pharmacy is what I want. I don't care where it would take me. Egypt? UK? Or even Mars? But the thing is, I'm not ready.

How it would be without my parents? And I get UTI more frequent than ever? And I'm facing everything alone? What happen if I don't get the chance to come back here anymore?

Laugh at me now. I'm just paranoid.

But all I ever needed is some spirit.

Give me some, guys. :(

p/s: I'm now writing my resignation letter. One little step to a grow up life. Hope so.


  1. i'd never been ready qist until the time i sat on the plane, there's no turning back anymore :(

  2. qist, it's normal to admit that u're not ready, lagi-lagi bila beberapa tahun di negara orang, but no matter what, you always know whats the best for you. buat lah solat istikharah k my dear :)