3.9

3 years and 9 months. 

Equals to 45 months in total, none of them that he would go wishing me an anniversary wish at the first place. 

And then he would say, "Oh god, I thought tomorrow is 31st November, I totally forgot that November only has 30 days."

Great, now what? We would have 32nd December on December?

He would continued, "I promise you, I won't do it again next month, okay?"

"Okay".

 -____________- 

(I smirked)

And he kept making it as excuse that it's normal for a man to forget those important dates and events and whatnots. I was so tolerable that I tried not to handle that with my female hormones, so I decided to use my brain to accept the fact that everybody has flaws. But I cannot tahannnn I would always spill my words and ended up with my 10 minutes lecture.

And he would fearlessly laughed. Such a brave man.

Then  he would bravely said, "Don't forget to blog about me!"

He definitely had no fear at all.

And that pretty much sums up our 45-months-relationship.

Happy 3.9 anniversary to you. :)

We'll see how next month.

24 y/o

22 years ago.. Pardon the cheeky smile. I'd always looked like a naughty little girl who would pull your hair with no guilt.

22 years ago, I was celebrating my birthday with my two brothers. Definitely the stubborn sister would never want to share the knife for cake-cutting with the other siblings. And now, unofficially being 24 years old, there's so much more to achieve rather than fighting over a cake knife. 

I don't really have a new year resolution. What I want to do is, doing my best in whatever that I'm going to do ; whatever, I mean, in my studies, relationship, cooking, or even sleeping. Hahaha yes, the same Qistina as in 2013. 

Being a student in 2014, I'm still in my second year of a degree programme. No pressure, but yes, can't wait to finish it. I mean it.

Being a woman in 2014, (24 is considered as an adult, thank you), I've no pressure in marriage too. My mom's getting married when she was 24. And I've been receiving wedding invitations from my friends almost every week. My best friends are going to tie the knot real soon (again, without having me in Malaysia. Seriously, aren't Dolls feel guilty getting married without having me as a bridesmaid?). 

But frankly, I knew every details of my life has been planned properly. Starting from the moment when my mom popped me out, and school and friends and work and marriage and kids. So, nothing to be scared of. I believe that everything has been arranged nicely, and I just have to play a beautiful role and enjoy the present moment. Just make the best of it, so you won't regret it later.

Sigh. 

I'm so grown up. My hormones work very fast on a new year that I can't believe I just talked about life. It's only 3rd January, man. Haha. 

Final exam Year 2

Starting the final exams in 2 days. 

Last grandmother

Al-Fatihah.

My one and only grandmother, on my dad's side, passed away yesterday ( Thursday, 9.40 am ) in Bachok, Kelantan.

It was 3 am in Egypt, I was sleeping with no access of mobile internet. It was such a shocking news when I wake up. Grandma and I, we're not that close. In fact, my siblings too. But we're her closest grandchildren. She's very old and towards the end of her life, she barely recognized us.

We're not seeing her often, maybe because all of my siblings are off for studying/working and not being able to see her more often. But when we got the chance to see her, we're definitely going to run to her and everybody was trying to get to her first. And we were going to her treat just like a queen. Got her whatever she needed, water, checked. Towel, checked. Pillow, checked. Maybe because she's too old to get that by herself.

But my dad, yes. He's got to see her mom everyday.

Dad was the closest to her. I admired the way dad talked to her mum, the way dad treated her mum, it's soo lovely. I could really felt the love. Grandma, who barely able to hear what people were saying and sometimes she forgot where she put her teeth or her stuffs. Or sometimes when her nails were too long to even hurt her own feet and fingers. It was my dad, who taking care of her.

Dad would never gave up repeating the same questions to her, and answering her questions 4-5 times until she really really got it. When my grandma forgot to perform her Asar prayer, dad reminded her in such a lovely way, grandma wouldn't be ashamed or hurt. When grandma thought she just throw away her important stuffs into the dustbin, it was dad who trying to rummage all the trashes just to get her mom the stuffs back (for actually that important stuffs were in dad's car - both forgot) hahaha

Dad became the first one to notice that her mum's nails had grew so long and cut them. Never in my whole life, dad would raise his voice towards his mum. Towards me, yess laaa hahaha.

So, I thought, O lord, Dad must be really really really sad. Hmm, losing a mom is devastating...

Last picture of me and my grandma at my late grandpa's grave. Eid 2013.

May Allah grants you with Jannah, and we will always remember you.

Al- Fatihah. To my grandma. To our parents. May Allah be with us, always. Insyallah..

Normal

They say, once you are a teacher, you will forever being called 'Teacher'. Once you are a doctor, you are forever being called 'Doctor'. Even after your retirement.

And in my case, once I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic, I will always being treated as a pre-diabetic patient. The word "pre" here always brings a meaning of precautions. People will tell me, "Awwww don't eat that, too high of sugar" or "No more carbonated drink, you are pre-diabetic, remember?"

Got it? This is not fair when I'm no longer a pre-diabetic, correction people, I'm normal now. My blood glucose has fallen into a normal range just like you guys. And I can eat tons of chocolate and gallons of Mirinda now. Hahaha.

What even worst, they will treat me as if I'm an admitted-hospital-insulin-dependant-diabetis mellitus patient with all wires twisting the body, one into nasal, one into blood vein and with concentrated urine in urine bag. Like, "Nooo, don't buy that carbonated drink anymore" when I was just opening the beverage fridge or "Heyy, this is sweet, Qistina cannot eat this".

This is sad.

Poor Qistina is judged unfairly.

My latest blood glucose level. Normal range. Now where's all the carbonated drink at? Haha.

And being diagnosed once as a pre-diabetic, for me, I considered it as a good wake up call. When I'd never bothered about my sugar intake, about my blood glucose level and my health though what I've learned at school everyday was all about health, so, now I make it a habit to have a regular blood glucose checkup. (At least once in 2 or 3 months). And become more alert with my sugar intake now.

My dose of happiness

Updates

Okay. When was the last time that I posted something? Right, 2 months ago. I seriously tried so hard to find at least 30 minutes of the whole 24 hours in a day to spend it in here. Tho I missed to write so so soo much I've got no word to describe, my fingers sometimes stretched by their owns hahaha. But 30 minutes was too mainstream. I couldn't find even 15 minutes for that.

So okay, for updates, I'm in Egypt now. Still choosing Egypt (after I turned down the offer from one private university in Malaysia - no regret for it) and assignments kept piling up. Tests, exams and extra classes, I was really contented.

Cause since we came back to Egypt a lil bit late (when all the local students were already in their half period of the whole semester), there's a rush in catching up with the syllabus and I was really exhausted. Finished one test today, got another test tomorrow. Testing my knowledge with organic chemistry today and anatomy tomorrow. Basically, I've lived with only books. So sometimes I asked myself a silly question, "My brain wouldn't shrinked, will it?" because I was soooo tired.

And now, I'm on my study week, continue living as a shrunk-brained-student. Hahaha.

Too busy to even smile.

Which one now?

Despite of all chaos and political issue in Egypt, I still want to go there.

It's kinda break my heart seeing how my lovely people begging me to not to go there and continue with my studies here in Malaysia. It really bothers me. It puts me in guilty some more.

The situation is like I was having 2 kids, one of them is in Malaysia, the other one is in Egypt, but both of them are desperately need me to breastfeed them. I couldn't split my body to just satisfy what they want. Okay, you got it?

Hahaha.

Listen, my people.

I'm chasing my dreams. And trust me, Egypt is safe. (Hopefully). I've just started with my degree and I'm adapting myself really well there. It's so sayang to just let it go.

Life must go on, guys.

Or at least just bear for 4 years more.

Okay, I don't know now.