2011

I'm celebrating 2012 new year at home. Thanks.

I can't believe 2011 passes so fast, like they have a magic spirit in turning time or something. I know everything have changed so much. I grow older, I have learnt new things, I even become a new person. Seriously, things are just different.

I learn how be adult, to be exact. And I'm only 21. I don't know where I left my teenage life. Teheee.

January 2011, I was still in my diploma programme, final year of it. Young and fresh.

Duh, I won't never wear that hair clip again. This was during my old studying time. Oily face. Dirty.

This was the moment when I only had to wake up, dressed myself up to a practical training, ate with colleagues, having fun in doing assignments and learning new things with so much joy. Life was easy and perfect. What a honeymoon year!

And these awesome people. They used to be my internship buddies and now they are my really good friends. They are fun, I swear.

These bunch of wonderful people. Beauty with brains and jokes, yes. Never failed to make me laugh. Crazy, wacky university friends. And now we're successfully graduated as the Diploma of Pharmacy holders, some of us are now working and some pursuing the studies in degree level. And we keep planning on doing more reunions ahead. The photo above was taken during our last reunion.

And we're graduated! Around October 2011.

Thing wasn't going right when I had applied for university's degree intake but they rejected all of my applications. Cruel much. And I think I did nothing wrong. Because as a Diploma in Pharmacy holder, I did applied for Bachelor in Pharmacy, which is so much clear in path. Result: Rejected. Just because my pointer is below 3.80. I'm not the best student but I deserve a chance and I promised to make my best of it if I were given the chance and bla bla bla. Too late I don't want that anymore!

And I did applied for Bachelor in Law and Bachelor in Actuarial Science. Result: Rejected. I don't have any foundation for that courses, what do you expect girl? This was funny. I didn't took this seriously. I just did the applications.

Insyaallah, I was planning to continue my study abroad. If Allah wills.

And now I'm working. I've got the offer letter to work at KPJ Tawakkal Specialist Hospital two weeks after I finished with my internship. Phewww. No resting time at all. Hehe.

My colleagues.

Port Dickson. Ameerul brought me there to celebrate my 21st birthday.

And these are my beautiful ladies. 2011 much less tear us apart. We didn't really got the chance to meet up with each other. I miss them.

Well, 2011 was treating me really nice. It was the greatest among all of the past. Hello 2012, I'm am now 22. :)

Mid-semester break

I received a text message from Shushy. My best friend. At 1 pm.

"Bestnya tidur"

Whatever. She tried to make me sakit hati. Damn. She just had no idea how working is all about. You see, I wake up at 6 am everyday and I need to catch a bus at 7.30 am. And I know she might be sleeping at that particular time. Teenager, she is. What do you expect?

Hahaha. She's so cruel.


Shushy. She is my best friend since we're in high school. We stayed in the same classes for 3 years and we sat next to each other. (Much closer during the exam time, you know why). I continued my study with a diploma in Pharmacy in UiTM Pulau Pinang and so do her. She was my junior and now still doing her Civil Engineering.

Yes, we obviously share so much secrets. She is the one who willing to stay with me no matter how bad I am. You see, I'm a short tempered and stubborn.

And coincidentally Ameerul is now doing his Mechanical Engineering in the same university. Nahhh. I'm not being a queen control but Shushy and Ameerul are actually share the same Calculus lecturer, and class, perhaps.

Shushy was willing to be my spy. Hahaha. That's just so funny.

And now they're having their semester break. I want they to get enough rest because I'm going to crash Penang on February! Wohooo.

Of sad movie and tears

Ombak Rindu.

Gosh.

I've seen it! I don't care what people will call me. For a start, I watched it after a month it was published. Lame and pathetic. Because I was waiting for Ameerul to come back here and watched it together which is just.. so sad for being me.

And I don't care if people will think that I'm a lame because I cried throughout the story. THROUGHOUT. 2 hour and 45 minutes. Gosh, I went out with red eyes as if I was a Dracula or something. I mean, for a Malay movie, what do you expect? It was sad, terrible. My tears couldn't help falling down. The drink holder beside my seat was all full with only my tissues. I wonder how the cleaners had the cinema done after that, because if I were them, I wouldn't dare to touch any wet stuffs contain of other's body fluid. Euw.

And Ameerul was sitting besides me, sleeping. Honestly, he should really learn how to be fragile and romantic. He should learn from the main actor. Well, it wasn't his genre then, what do I expect?

He woke up more than 3 times in the middle of the story, grabbed the tissues from my hand and tried to wipe away my tears. Told me not to cry and he went back sleeping. Great.

Huh.

Serasi Bersama

I don't know if you guys ever watched Serasi Bersama telly programme on Astro Ria. Well, it's basically testing on the chemistry of the celebrities couple. On how they can get along to each other.

It was fun for them, and it was pathetic for me for just sitting in front of the telly and getting happy and excited for one's marriage. zzz.

So I'd actually wanna know how much Ameerul and I can get along to each other, I know we can't, we didn't really have that x factor or chemistry or whatever, we are just in a relationship with full of differences and argument. See, I sound revengeful. Just because he didn't want to buy me a dress as a Christmas gift. Pffttf.

And we played Serasi Bersama, through phone which is just another pathetic side of me.

Hahaha.

I asked him, between you and me, who falls asleep easily?

Like simultaneously, he said, me. And I said, him. Look, we're different!

Never mind. Next question.

He asked me, between you and me, who taking bath so long?

I said, him. (I lied). And he said, me.

And the questions went,

Who is the shortest? Damn. I skipped this one.

Who become sulky easily? Obviously, me.

Who can remember the road direction easily? I let him won, he's man, I didn't want to embarrass him. Lol.

Who loves to shop? (This question was made up by him. I knew it would last with a nagging, please stop shopping and save you money and bla bla bla, so I skipped this.)

Who loves to smoke? (He can't skipped this and ended by some lectures from me). Nahhh.

Who goes to the toilet more often? Me.

Who tends to like black colour more? Him.

Who eats more? Him.

Who woke up easily? Me.

And the games went until everybody's sleepy....

Between me and you, whose nose is bigger? HIM.

Imaginary Friend

I was somewhere in the kitchen and Mia was playing in the living hall. She pretended to be on phone and chatting with her imaginary friend.

"Hello where are you? I'm at Sri Gombak, when will you come? It's hot here and I'm waiting for you for so long."

I don't know what's her ' friend' replied.

But Mia said, "Oh really, your mom's die? Ya Allah, my mum is also die. My dad too."

Then she hung up.

Her mom asked her, whom she was talking to. Her mom asked her, if both of her parents die, who she will be staying with? Who will take care of her and Adam, her little brother?

Mia said, "Nevermind, Mama Qis can take care of me and adik".

I guess her mom sakit hati hearing Mia answered that so her mom said, "Mama Qis go shopping and leave you alone, how?"

Mia replied, "I can follow her".

Hahaha, kids these days...

Mia and Mama Qis.

Mid-life crisis

I had such a terrible week. I got PMS all week long. I was really a depressed pathetic girl. I refused to talk to people. I was not in the mood of communicating to others. I'd rather have been quiet than talking. Making jokes, no way. I'd chose to alienate myself. I didn't really mixed up with people.

I was a short-tempered. I got angry easily. Everything seemed so wrong.

I didn't know why. Mood swing, maybe. Hormones changes, maybe.

I'm not sure if my colleagues seemed to aware of how I behaved but one of them asked me if I was okay cause he saw me talking less. Of course I did, I had mouth ulcer. But that's not the main reason.

Ameerul was aware of me having those changes. He asked me, was I having a mid-life crisis or something. Look, I'm only 21, what on earth did he think of me having a mid-life crisis at this very young age? He's kidding, I know, and I found that funny.

Unfortunately, that hadn't even helped me. I'm miserable, depressed and I still comfortable to be remained in silences.

Ameerul tried to cheer me up back every time we were on the phone line, he said, "Come on girl, come back. Pulanglah. ". As though i'm hantu or what.

Haha, that's funny. He spotted me in a very different world.

And I don't know why. They say, women are complicated and they may be right. I'm not being a complicated, I was just acting like what I want, like how I comfortable to be to. And they may saw that as complicated. Well, human basic right.

And now I'm okay. I'm back. :D

From Daddy with love

Dad asked me if I ever like Ameerul. So I said, biasa je. I lied. He asked me once again if I like Ameerul or not? Look, I don’t get this. Why on earth he was asking me that? I surely like him, I mean why I would like to be his girlfriend if I don’t like him. 

And now, I love him.

So, to answer my dad, I said yes. Who knows, my dad really wanted to know my answer because he actually had planned to get us married. And he secretly planned it with Ameerul’s parents and he wanted to make it as a big surprise to me.

No. Actually it was a no. A big no.

My dad won’t allow me to get married before I get my degree.

I said yes. I like him. A lot. More than a lot - I added it in my mind.

My dad gave a little laugh. I know this would be a start to a long lecture.

My dad started with, "Well, if you like him, you should respect him. Treat him nicely."

"I saw the way you talked to him, you're arising your voice. That's not a good way to talk to people. 

You know, if we respect people, they will respect you back."

"Practise it from now, even though you're not his wife yet you should always talk to him in a well manners. Later when you get married with him, your marriage will be blessed by Allah. Good wife will get a blessing from Allah and you marriage will be a successful one."

"When you treat him nicely, he will never underestimate you, instead he will always be good to you in return."

I listened and responded by saying, "Yes, right, okay, I will, yes". Pretended that I listened and try to give a grow-up responses.

My dad loves me, he wants me to be the best. And he wants me to be everyone's favourite.

I know and I appreciate that.

20th

HAPPY 20TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY, BOO!

Daddy's big day

You know what's the similarities of me and my dad? (except nose).

Interest. Yes.

Him, when, I don't know when was this.

Me, the second child of him, 20 years old.

Coincidence, maybe cause we've never talked about this before. And I'd actually like snakes. But I don't think he will. And tell me, who will?

And decades passes and changed my dad gradually. I mean, everything was changed mutually with his age including his interest which he now reads a lot and physically fledged with grey hair. Beard, to be exact.

Look at our noses. SAME. Copy and paste. I remember my cruel ex-schoolmates who loved to make fun of me for having the same big nose with my dad. They're even called me with my dad's name. Silly them. And I wonder if my daughter will inherit it from her grandfather and I and when she goes to school, her classmates will make fun of her too. Oh pity her.

Well, I should start looking for a guy with a sharp, pointed nose now. *glance at Ameerul.

HAHA.

And my daddy has turned 52 today! Wohooooo. Happy birthday dear daddy. I wish you for a better life in this whole whole and the hereafter. Insyaallah, Allah will make things a lot easier to us. Ameen.

And I wish to give him a present. Hmm, a horse statue maybe? Hahaha. I'll be killed.

Manhattan Onceover.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I murmured,

"Dress-Dorothy Perkins

Cardigan-Cotton On

Handbag-Fake LV from Indonesia

Shoes-Vincci

Shawl-From Mekkah

Shade-Vincci accessories."

Ameerul was actually standing behind me and he said, "What are you talking about?" He was laughing so hard.

I turned to him, held his arms, looked into his eyes and said, "My boyfriend-priceless"

And we smiled at each other.

Hahaha. 

November.

Bloody month.

I can see my money flies. Far away. Haha.

Well, November might be such a good month to them; Mama, Papa and my lil sister because its their birthday. Oh God. *checking pocket now.

It's easier actually for me to remember each one of their birthday dates since everyone shares the same month. That might be the one and only advantage. Come to think about disadvantages? Oh, well that might comes up with a long list. I don't think I could mention them. LOL.

So today's my lil sister's birthday. My one and only sister, ever. She's the one who willing to share almost everything with me; clothes, secrets and what so ever and she's the one who willing to do any favors from me. Good enough, huh? Hahaha.

I wished her via phone and she replied, "Oh yes yes, you're the last person wishing me, thanks lah!"

She was all angry, because I wished her late! Hahaha.

I went saying couple of words and hanged up the phone like immediately, cause I afraid she might be so demand asking me to buy her present. I'm such a stingy sister, am I?And a crazy elder sister who loves to bully her own lil sis. Haha. She must be sad having me as her sister, well, she must take it, what more can she does unless taking what Allah has given to her. Be grateful for who I am. Hehehe.

* I can imagine how annoying her face would be while reading this. She must hates me and regrets her whole life for being a sister of mine.

And above of all these, I love you, sister.

And, happy 16th birthday. May Allah bless you. Have a bright future ahead. I wish we can have a holiday together after this. And I can imagine well how you carry my luggage and make such nice cup of coffee for me, oh wow. I'm looking forward to it.

Blood is thicker than water bla bla bla.

Happy birthday, Mama.

My mom's getting older. Haha.

Nooo, people will call me ungrateful daughter then. I mean, my mom's birthday was on last 10th November and everybody's celebrated her.

She was just so lucky! (I'd pray to inherit that luck!)

You see, my big bro gave her a bedside lamp. That's so sweet. My bro might thought that my mum needs so much rest and that lamp might helps her sleep tight and will keep her company throughout the night then. It makes perfectly sense, does it?

Haha.

And my lil brother gave her cake and I don't know what he presented my mum. But she told me that she was so happy and she was having such great time.

I called her on her birthday and I asked her what she wanted for her birthday so like spontaneously, she said she wanted clothes. Hahaha, demand!

I told her that I actually planning to get her a handbag. But she had to wait for my next salary. And yes, as expected, some nagging came out from her mouth. Haha.

I told her that I miss her so much. She replied, "OK".

OK? OK? Didn't she missed me?

Hahaha. Well, I'll give her everything that she wants. Because she's my only woman. Who else should I give my everything to if it's not my mum?

Happy birthday, Mama. :)

I miss you..

Dear diary,

Today's the last day I met him. The last day after he goes back to Penang for semester 5. And I, being left here, expected to do the same routines after all. Working, working, working and working. (and shopping by any chance).

We had so much fun today. So much fun. We went watching movie, having lunch together, he drove me back to home and guess what, I shouldn't tell you this but he gave me some money for me to survive for the next two weeks until my salary out since, emm I am actually broke, after I went to Zara and Pull & Bear warehouse big clearance and nothing's left in my purse except my licence and IC. Huh. He was mad at me because I was overspent on those bloody clothes and at the same time, I know he loves me, he wants me to survive well, he wants me to not too refrain on everything.

I thank God. And I felt guilty, he actually didn't had that much of money. I don't know why he still gave me some of it. Yeah, I reckon this is kind of money problem before marriage. We can call it as a pre-test then. We are the young couple, aren't we? So we act normal.

I was so happy. We were spending our time together. Talking about future, how happy he was when he said that he wanted me to be his wife, we were talking about what we had done and went during his semester break. He told me how enthusiastic he was to go back to Penang to study and how he wishes us to have a bright future together. I cried. I felt so sad, I felt like I was going to lost someone. I can felt he was far.

I can see thing's going harder. When I further my study abroad, I know we are so much apart. I might be there for ages, and he promises me no matter how far I go, no matter how long he has to wait for me, no matter how less we can get touch to each other, he will never leave me.

We promised each other.

I miss you. I miss you so bad.

Confessions.

I've just come to realization that I need to save my money. Money. Frankly speaking, I'd always have a problem with money. I might spent too much on unimportant things, I might be too fragile to just seeing sale signs, I might overbudget on everything and I know that sometimes I'm too strong-headed to listen to any advice that they have given.

I've never told anyone how much I spent in a month just for my clothes, shoes and handbags except to Ameerul. Not that I voluntarily told him what I had bought, but you know what, he kept asking me what I bought everytime I went to the mall. I just can't lie.

And if my dad was asking me the same question, I'll always telling him the truth. And thank God my dad never ask for it so far. Or else, you can only find me in a grave. Oh God. SCAAARY!

The same thing goes for my mum, aunts, granny, and even my colleagues. They were so kind-hearted and never gave up to tell me to stop buying unnecessary things. I mean like, I told them that I wanna buy a nice Chanel blusher and I was being scolded for that. They told me that was too expensive and I can get even much better blusher than that by cheaper price.

And I don't get them. I mean, it is not that I don't want to listen to them, it is just that, I want that bloody Chanel blusher like, I'm dying for that. Am I bad?

I'd actually want to further my study next year. So my dad told me to always have a saving money so I won't be too dependent on him. He even wants to create a bloody bank account just for me to keep some of my monthly salary inside it! And that might be one of his ways in order to make sure that I'm not over budget to what I'm going to spend. Maybe because I'm a teenager, the more he advises me, the more I become repellent to it! I act normal, am I?

Don't ever ask me how much do I save up until now, cause it is zero in number. And at the end of the month, I'll ask my mum for some money. I'm bad, I am totally bad. Because I know that my mum won't has a heart to see me starving. And I'll always promise her that I'll pay her immediately after I get my salary.

You know what, I've just realized that, I haven't wear maybe 5-6 clothes that I had bought before. I might be forgotten about their existence, perhaps.

I tried to be a better person each time my salary came out. But I found that it was only last for hmm maybe 2 days after that. I was cruel to myself. I swiped here and I swiped there like I'd never had a future.

So here I am, promise to be a better person. I promise to wear all those never-wear clothes and I try to cut back.

I hope this may last for err a year, perhaps. Because I'm going to further my study next year wohoo.

p/s: Because student will always find it easier to get money from parents. And scholarship too!

Of boyfriend and beach.

I spent the whole day long with Ameerul at Port Dickson. He at first asked me where to go so I said, it was up to him cause he's the one who drives. Then he told me that I deserve to make a decision since it was my birthday celebration. Haha.

Oh yeahhh, seemed like it's my queen-control-powered day. Thanks for the license. ;)

So like spontaneously, I said, okay, PD, so he was like, okayy. Huh, just like that? Did he think PD was less than 45 km, didn't he?

Okay so that I actually had to work on that Sunday. I mean like, while the other people were having their cereals and milk at home, watching favourite Sunday programmes on telly or treating themselves with new clothes or watsoever, I had to go to work and counting each tablets and every litres of syrups there. Stock take on Sunday.... Killing me even more.

Call me the most excellent employee then.

So Ameerul came fetched me at Tawakkal and then wohooo.

It was a rainy day and everything went all sticky. My shoes were wet with sands and all.

If her mum was reading this post, I'd pray that she can spot what's inside his shirt's pocket! You naughty son! Haha.

But I love his shirt. I just love it. :)

I actually was planning to make some sandwiches and fried rice cause we'd on a picnic, aren't we? So too bad, I was sick and I got to work on the next day, so maybe next time.

And just treating ourselves with...

SANDS.

Tell me, did it looked like a turtle? Hahaha. Boo us.

Old.

I'm older. And there's should be nothing to be excited about celebrating birthday, right. Haha. Yeah, but I received a lot of wishes and text messages wishing my birthday.

They're still loving me.

Haha.

I actually share the same birthday date with this cute kiddo, Damia.

Hppy birthday to us. I love you. :)

Convocation

I've done with diploma. Phew, it was the most challenging 3 years in my life. The hardest part when I actually had to sleep for only 1 hour and spending the whole night studying and memorizing how Total Parenteral Nutrition works. It sounds silly but the truth is there.

Call me an owl now.

2 weeks after I finished with it, I've got an offer letter from Tawakkal Hospital offering me to work there. Like, hello? I desperately need a job, (even cried for that). Stupid me, if I know Tawakkal needed staffs, I wouldn't let my tears fell down that much.

I wanted to work, cause obviously, pursuing pharmacy is hard ( 3.8 of CGPA, only if my dad was a Pharmacy's Dean). The hardest test in my life. But this is worth crying for, and up until now, I do cry for it. Nobody knows how much I love it. Okay stop here before anything falling down. *teary up.

Insyaallah will pursue my degree next year. If Allah wills.

So 3 years had passes. I am now a diploma holder, thank myself for being strong enough to face it.

Convo's went okay. Mama and Papa came for me. I'm the lovable daughter, who could deny. Haha.

Family first. Not in the picture; Faris, younger brother.

This boy came with a bouquet of flower. <3

And walking all the way in UiTM holding my handbag. Haha.

LOVES!

Oh I hate this picture. It's such a humiliation seeing my face was half covered with that mortar board. Like a retarded kid. Haha but they said I looked cute, so hmmm yes put it here. Hahaha.

Pre Graduation Photos

Let these pictures do all the talking.

Euww much? Okay bye. :)

Last

I hate the word LAST. It's kind of sad. You'll feel awkward and you're about to feel to lose something! It's terrible.

I remember the last times, when I had to leave Penang, the last moments in Penang was miserable. I cried when I thought of leaving Penang and clearly my friends.

So did when I had to end my internship training. Been a year at the hospital that I'd been attached to, I was sort of glue to it and I hate to leave that place!

And now that I have to face the same situation!

Vince and Man, our boys are now leaving Tawakkal after 2 months of practical training.

So the generous us went dinner to celebrate these kids. Hehe.

I'm gonna miss them.

Back to basic

Him: Sayang, what if you loss your memory? Would you still love me? Would you still remember me?

Her: *started to cry

Him: No, don't cry. I'm just asking.

Her: If I loss my memory, please do everything just to remind me back about us. Do each things that we used to do. Wear the same clothes that we used to wear.

Him: Okay sayang, will do. Stop crying, I'm bad in joking, am I?

Her: *don't want to talk to him. Serve him right.

So this is the boy that should actually attends himself to joking class. Hehe.

HAPPY 18TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY, SAYANG. I LOVE YOU FOREVERMORE.